Why You Need to Change the Story you tell Yourself

"What we believe is what we make true." - Kerry S. Campbell

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres on our open platform. We publish pieces as written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Community stories are not commissioned by our editorial team and must meet our guidelines prior to being published.
Be your own lighthouse

I used to tell myself, “I am damaged goods and no one would want me.” You know what happened? I attracted bad men into my life, ones that treated me poorly. This was a repeat pattern in my relationships, and not only with men. But, also with myself. See, I also treated myself poorly. I kicked myself when I was down, I chain smoked cigarettes like I had a secret death wish. I allowed people to take advantage of me. All of this was because I wasn’t aware of, nor was I considering, what stories I was telling myself. Or, rather more to the point – what lies was I telling myself and therefore believing were true.

Ask yourself this: What are some of the things I often repeat to myself about myself?

We all have constant refrains we repeat to ourselves over and over. Often, these are things we picked up from outside ourselves and then allowed to take root and become a sort of truth. We receive all sorts of messages from our parents, our teachers, social media, our society, or our religion. These can often translate into harmful statements we tell ourselves, which can take a heavy toll on our lives.

The stories we tell ourselves have power. All stories have power – storytelling is one of the most fundamental characteristics that make us human. Stories have the power to scare us, to uplift us, to inspire us, to entertain us, and so on. The thing is, the stories are always made up. We make them up. And once we create them, they go out into the world and take on form. They become real.

The question becomes what kind of stories do you want to be living in your life? Do want to live stories that are encouraging, empowering, and uplifting? Or, do you want to live stories that keep you stuck in a rut, demoralized, and make you feel like it’s all pointless? I was living that latter example. The stories I told myself kept me depressed, angry, and spinning in circles in my life.

It wasn’t until I started to look at the stories I told myself, challenge many of them as false beliefs, and began to write new and empowering stories that my life started to turnaround. Now I tell myself stories like “I am beautiful and kind. I have a lot to offer.” Do you know what kinds of men show up in my life now? Exactly the ones that reflect the story I tell myself. This and other stories I rewrote helped me leave behind self-destructive habits (including that cigarette smoking habit) and create a better life.

It is only by rewriting the stories we tell ourselves that our truth begins to shine. It is only by rewriting the stories we tell ourselves that we reclaim our lives.

Find out how to rewrite your stories in my course Write a New Story

Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...


The stories we tell ourselves

by Chantal Soeters
pikepicture/Getty Images

It Wasn’t an Overnight Love Story, But I Learned How to Love Myself

by Emily Madill
GoodStudio / Shutterstock

You Don’t Suck at Life: How to Stop Believing Your Inner Bully

by Sandy Woznicki

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.


We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.