Clue; The answers are in your past.
I had a revelation today.
I discovered the reason why I can’t still down and do nothing.
I have this thing, this inability to sit and do nothing.
I’m forever on a time watch. Feeling like I need to make the most of every minute of every hour of every day. Filling my diary and my days.
At the weekend, I know if I sleep in, I’ll feel guilty and regret that I’ve wasted the day or lost the morning.
Where did this idea come from, that I need to fill every hour with an action?
Well, for me, it’s a mix of childhood and adulthood. I’ll deal with adulthood first.
In my last job, we had something you may have heard of called Work Productivity. I shudder now just thinking about it.
Every process and task timed. If our teams weren’t producing enough work based on this calculation, we had to determine why.
The calculation doesn’t take into account if you’re having a shit day, if a client has been on the phone to you for 45 minutes telling you their life story, and it certainly didn’t take into account the fact you were human.
Being so focused on work productivity and reporting, justifying why Fred didn’t hit his quota for the day (because he had a breakdown because of things going on at home) or why Lucy didn’t make all those calls out (because she’s just split up with her husband), is part of the problem. And it’s a hard one to shake off.
Childhood. This is where it gets a bit deep.
Do these words resonate with anyone; “You can’t just sit around and do nothing all day!” said in a threatening and disappointing tone. And said quite often.
Accompanied by; you need to get a hobby, you must have a hobby.
Further accompanied by, “If you don’t work hard, you’ll end up like that girl next door.”
That girl next door was pregnant at 14.
Sighs*
I know now why I’m like this.
This means I have the power to make the change.
How powerful is that?
P.S. I would like to add none of the above was said by Mum or my biological Dad.
If you want to connect with me, you can find me on Instagram @jodyannewoo where I love talking about the moon, messages from the Universe and all things spirituality or for a more ‘worky’ connection linkedin.com/in/jody-woodbridge/