There are reasons why you don’t support yourself, why you don’t self-sooth easily, why you believe in crap about yourself. It gets me very angry when so many coaches and lightworkers skip that very important part and say how you just have think and believe positive, and things will be wonderful in your life. It’s such bullshit and I am really sick of it, not only because it made me feel worse about myself if I didn’t succeed in what they were saying, but also because I saw and still see many other people going down and being even harder on themselves when this fake advice fails.
All of these high level business people are not really coaches or light workers, they are primarily business people. They put money, power and fame before another human being’s feelings and betterment, and they easily drop anyone who is not their “ideal client” when in actuality they don’t have the skill to help them.
So back to the beginning, the reason why you don’t think positive and believe in optimistic outcomes is because your life experience didn’t have many of either and all you learned in order to survive was how to plug the many holes which the water was coming through in order not to drawn. That is it. And no amount of positive thinking and belief will be able to penetrate this heavy armor you built in order to protect yourself.
The ONLY thing that will help is compassionate processing with emotionally and spiritually skilled person — where you can safely process the deep emotional pain, sadness and despair you felt when you were unable to think or believe otherwise. After that, you are able to feel joy, happiness and strength that is currently missing in your life or business. The vulnerability, the connection, the final release of stuck heavy feelings provides relief, movement and enthusiasm that is inherent in you. I believe there is no need to force positive beliefs and thoughts on ourselves, but only to allow the blocks to our inner truth where they are all hidden to dissolve. Dissolving our previous identities of struggle, pain and anxiety will allow for relaxation, meaning and security to come into our lives.
Who can lead you on this journey — only someone who has gone through it themselves and when you speak to them, you will feel tremendous freedom, open-heartedness and complete lack of judgement. You will feel they believe in you because they believe truly in themselves, not in a false fake identity that is presented to the public, but deep inside they believe in their heart, in their goodness, in their ability to help another. You will want to trust them because it feels good, not because someone told you, or because they promise you fairytales, or because their marketing is flawless, but because you know you like them — as a human being, as a fellow traveler in life who can help you pass through your own gateway of joy. After that, as my own inner shaman said: The sky is the limit!
Don’t give up on yourself, and choose carefully people, coaches, friends and activities that let you fully be who you are and who you came to be on this planet!
Originally published at medium.com