I have had experiences where l felt my life was on constant replay, like it’s a broken record playing again and again. What l currently do is what l have always done and the results l am getting is what l have also received. I am sure it’s not just me but may be you currently reading this memoir. It is a miserable state of affairs in one’s life. The frustrating thing about it was the more l tried, the more l worked hard the more l got back exactly where l had started off. It is seemed like failure was my constant reality, mediocrity, empty pockets or bank accounts yet deep down l know l could move to the other side. Change is not just a possibility but a must, something in my life had to give.
Life is a constant battle between who you are now to who you yearn or want to be. At the beginning of the year you set resolutions, resolutions to change yet after a few months or even days you are back where you started off. The question to ask is why? Why do we do what we do? Socrates alluded that an unexamined life is not worth living at all. To be better and do better we have to study ourselves. A bad manufactured car is recalled back to the assembly line by the producer, it is broken apart and the problem is discovered and then the vehicle is made anew with improvements. Thus life’s are saved and thus for you to save yourself, you need to find out why you do what you do? What you do now, today or any day is what has brought about the results you currently get and if you don’t change you will get the same results time after time.
For so long l have felt like a failure, the more l tried the more l seemed to fail. I moved from place to place because the grass is always greener on the side yet the seed within me was spoiled and thus could not grow or take advantage of the beautiful green grass. Real change is not an external matter but it is when we search within and change within that everything else changes. What happens, happens to everyone but how we react determines how we suffer or thrive in what has happened. The truest fact of life is when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at begin to change.
My life began to change when l started to change from within my heart, l had been so negative for a very long time and thus kept attracting negative things in my life. One of my greatest enemy was worry and fear, simply because l was so afraid l kept thinking about the very things l was afraid of. Job the bible patriarch, after having lost his wealthy, his family, his health and at the brink of death concluded and said, “the thing l feared the most l have brought upon myself”. As a man thinketh in his or her heart so shall he or she be. Thus we do what we do because deep done that is all we think of. If you think of failing you will fail, if you think and see yourself winning you will win.
Why do we do what we do? We pull down others because deep down we know we can do better but are afraid to do better because we are afraid of failing. So when we see those trying to do better we try and pull them down yet when they do make it we envy them and try and emulate them. Behind every glory there is story, there have been battles fought. If the battles within us have been won then the battles outside can do us no harm.
At one point in my life l was an alcoholic, but if you ask me why or how l started l cannot recall. The very fact of the matter is, it was the cool thing within a certain circle of my friends in high school and thus in a bid to be accepted l started drinking. So thus we do what we do because we seek acceptance and love. The more stories of drunkard escapades l shared with my friends the more l made them laugh the more they seemed to like me. We do what we do so that we are accepted by friends, family or our societies yet at what cost. In a bid to conform to the standards set for us we lose our individuality.
Have you ever asked yourself why, why you believe what you believe? Why you do what you do? Our belief system influences how we act but some of our beliefs have been passed down through generations and generations that we also do things as they have been done and pass it on. What if it is wrong, what if the systems that worked back then can no longer be applied to our current generation. We have to be able at any day to sacrifice who we are for who we ought to be.
There has been a lot of literature and studies done in regards to why we do what we do but my favorite narrative is from the Bible. One of the verse, Romans 12:2 says, “And be not conformed to the standards of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove that which is good and acceptable and perfect, will of GOD”.
If you believe in GOD then you have to believe that GOD made you to do better and be better and if not then changes are a must. The bible narrative speaks of faith, faith being the substance of things hoped for and thus you are not bothered by what is because what is will give way to something better and you can live with hope and expectation and thus you call forth those things that be not as if they are. On the other hand if you are an evolutionist, you believe that man evolved from primitive beginnings then you know that with constant developments, improvement is inevitable. Then you as well as an individual must also evolve and change for the better. For that which is not growing is simply dying, real life transformation begins by the renewal of your mind.
We do what we do because we are creatures of habit but what is a habit. A habit is a decision you made at some point and then you stopped making the decision yet you continue to action that decision. What it means, is you made a decision to drink and now when you do drink you don’t need to make a decision it’s a normal part of you. You made a decision to wake up and look at your phone and thus every day you do not need to make the decision daily but you just wake up and reach for your phone. How habits are formed, habits are formed as follows: You sow a thought, you reap an action, you sow an action and then it becomes a habit. A habit will make you or break you, it makes your character and your character determines how your life will be lived and the results you will get.
As l come to the conclusion of this chapter of Memoirs of Sir Brian Robert Koga, l want to challenge you to change for the better by simply working on your mind. My life changed when l made a decision, we form habits because we make decisions to do certain things. As a child l was slave to impulses, l wanted to touch everything and taste everything. As l grew my actions began to be ruled by appetite, passion, greed, love, fear, my environment but the biggest controller is always my habits. Therefore to switch from what l am getting now to what l want to get, from failure to success then l must destroy bad habits and replace them with good habits. Then be not afraid to examine your life and take the necessary decisions. Some decisions are not easy but they are necessary, sometimes it takes sacrificing the very beliefs you have held for so long. Sometimes it takes losing the very people you call friends, family and all. It takes letting go off the comfort zone, leaving the good for the better, leaving the better for the more excellent. There is no limit to what you can be or do, so before you do what you do, ask yourself why do l do this and what value is it contributing to my life. Is it moving me to my goals or its taking me back to where l have always been at, will it bring about the results l want or will it bring about the same results l have always received.
This Sir Brian, signing out on WHY WE DO WHAT WE DO?
#Sir Brian Robert Koga