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Why The Relationship With Yourself Sets The Bar For Dating Success

3 steps to improve your mindset around dating and love

Let’s start with a dating #TruthBomb… It’s impossible to attract your ideal love life if you’re not crystal clear on what you really desire in love and in a relationship!

BOOM… Now that might be difficult to hear.

Not to mention, it starts with you understanding yourself, which isn’t always as easy as you might think, if you’ve never really spent much time thinking about it.

Everything in life starts with connection and this includes a relationship with a compatible significant other. We make a true relationship connection when our heart touches another heart. Therefore, to attract a heart to heart connection with an ideal significant other, the responsibility for connecting starts with you, because when you have an ideal relationship with yourself and fall in love with life itself, you’ll then have the ability to truly attract your ideal significant other.

To attract someone who you feel loved, respected, cared for by and close to, you must find and feel those values for yourself first.

So a question for you: Do you know your values?

We all have different values. Values are what you hold to be important in life and drive your behaviour. They’re your deeply held beliefs or principles about what’s right and wrong. The things that are important to you in a relationship context may be very different from the things that are important to you in work, family life etc. However, your “core” values are those values that are important to you and are present in all contexts.

Sharing the same “core” values as someone is what can lead to sustaining a healthy, fulfilling relationship with them. For example, values such as trust, loyalty, caring and understanding, might be important to you. By defining this, it can help you to understand what you’re seeking within a significant other and help you to attract the “right” love.

Now, values are often supported by beliefs and during our life, our beliefs can change. They may no longer support our values

What are your beliefs about dating & relationships?

Sometimes there’s a blockage in our belief system when it comes to dating and relationships, which restricts all that’s possible in attracting a relationship by the way you’re thinking about it!

You can find experiences to back up almost any belief. For example, if you believe you’re not a “good enough” significant other, nobody wants to date you or you’re going to be single forever; you’re likely to have a lot of references to back it up. Maybe a previous person cheated on you or you’ve been told you weren’t good enough for someone else etc. Maybe you’ve had horrendous dating experiences. Every little part of that energy can form limiting beliefs about dating and relationships.

This is not uncommon and the great news is that beliefs can be changed!

How do you overcome limiting beliefs to enable you to attract love?

Here are 3 steps: The ‘Diamond-Dazzling D’s’ (Deliberate Awareness, Decision & Do It!) to improve your dating and love life mindset:

1st Step: Deliberate Awareness

Take a look at your current dating and love life circumstance. Now be completely honest with yourself about whether or not it’s a true reflection of your belief system.

It’s not about what you’d like to believe, what you think you should believe or even what you say you believe. What do you truly believe at your core? What are your true beliefs about yourself and what you can or can’t have in love and relationships?

Once you become deliberately aware of what you’re thinking and how you’re feeling, based upon your limiting beliefs, be mindful to be kind to your beliefs. Challenging your beliefs will require you to get out of your comfort zone. Don’t beat yourself up for having the limiting ones; simply observe your beliefs and learn from them.

2nd Step: Decision

Make a decision to let go of old limiting beliefs, habits and attitudes and replace them with new healthy, empowering ones. Rather than putting your emotion and attention into things you don’t like or wish to be part of your dating and love life experience; change your beliefs, thoughts, feelings and emotions into finding the positives. When you do this, it will have a positive impact on you and you can literally attract more positive dating and love life situations toward you.

3rd Step: Do It!

Find ways to improve the quality of your relationship with yourself. This might be through self-development, joining support groups or getting profession help from an expert such as a coach. The important thing is to just do something about it, because when you connect with yourself more fully, you get more love in return. You’ll then maximise your opportunities to attract love sooner rather than later.

On a final note, daily affirmations are powerful for helping you to believe in yourself and your ability to attract love. Here’s one to get you started:

“I AM Loving & Lovable”

Because YOU absolutely ARE and you CAN make dating a success and your love life dreams a REALITY!

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- MARCUS AURELIUS

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