Community//

Why Taking Pressure off May Lead You to Find Your True Love

I was always a big believer that the most significant relationship we can have is the one we have with ourselves. I knew that my internal happiness could not depend on any one person, but rather it was a job that I had to tackle alone. Despite the priority of internal peace I assigned to […]

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I was always a big believer that the most significant relationship we can have is the one we have with ourselves. I knew that my internal happiness could not depend on any one person, but rather it was a job that I had to tackle alone. Despite the priority of internal peace I assigned to myself long ago, I always knew that love, any love, can enhance our well-being.

It is important to clarify that love comes in many shapes, and it is not only a romantic love. We seek connection, and even our pets can play an enormous part in enabling us to feel gratitude, fulfillment, and closeness. Romantic love can also be a part of our connection journey, but I have found it to be an addition to my peace instead of the cause of it. In another words, I wanted to achieve internal balance that could not be rocked by any one event, and romantic love would come as a “cherry on the top.”

Love is everywhere…

It was not until I decided to take the pressure off that I was able to achieve closeness and find my true love. I always felt that I had a list of criteria when it came to romantic relationships, but I found that fulfilling these criteria didn’t necessarily result in a deep connection. One day, I decided to try and understand potential romantic interest by truly being just a friend, and I found more closeness than I had ever before.

When we drop the pressure of ideal love, we find that our flexibility to love is far greater. As a matter of fact, our true self is able to come forward and seek out (identify) other genuine behavior. What we find may surprise us – I met the love of my life when I was in a place of just wanting a friend. We struck a friendship tone that allowed us to take the demands of dating away and focus on the beauty of deep communication.

I fell in love when I put the pressure to the side and focused on internal peace while maintain outside connection. I felt that it was the most natural thing to do only when I felt completely fulfilled alone and open to great conversation and sharing of experience. It was the realization of our flexibility to love; I knew that love was everywhere, and romantic love would have contributed but not diminished my ability to feel the deepest sense of closeness to everything around me.  

For more stories, please see my Instagram and website.

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