Why self help books don’t work?

Self help books tell you things like if you think more positive, do certain affirmations, change your mindset to one of a winner, try harder and get up earlier than your life will change.  These books may sound logical and helpful.  But like me, you may do everything it says, using as much will power […]

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres on our open platform. We publish pieces as written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Community stories are not commissioned by our editorial team and must meet our guidelines prior to being published.

Self help books tell you things like if you think more positive, do certain affirmations, change your mindset to one of a winner, try harder and get up earlier than your life will change.  These books may sound logical and helpful.  But like me, you may do everything it says, using as much will power as you can build up.  

Only to then feel disappointed and broken hearted when it does not work.  You then blame yourself and reach for your choice of comfort, which may be sugar, eating more, watching TV, sex or drinking alcohol.  Then you hate yourself even more and the whole cycle starts again.

Sound familiar?  You are not the only one.

The reason is self help books are all about doing and changing your life with action and effort, a lot of effort.  This requires you to use your conscious mind to plan and take new action.  Science shows that most people only use their conscious mind 5 % of the time and the rest of the time they are operating automatically from their unconscious mind.  For example we often don’t think about how to drive our car.  Instead we drive automatically using our unconscious mind, whilst we are consciously thinking about dinner or what to do next.

Therefore you may notice some improvement at first.  But sooner or later you are going to revert to your unconscious mind and your unconscious programming and conditioning because it is this that drives 95% of your life.  This keeps you repeating the same old patterns and getting the same old results.  Which equals no long lasting changes.

How to break free from your unconscious programming and conditioning.

By its very nature you are not aware of what is in your unconscious mind, this can make it very hard to change your conditioning by yourself.  However there is a way which I will share below. 

For over 20 years I have been helping people change.  First of all I was an assistant Psychologist, then a Physical Therapist, then an Energy worker and NOW I am a coach.  What I learnt is that no approach on its own wether it is Energy work, Psychology or Mindset Training creates long lasting change.

The only way to break free from your conditioning and create long lasting change is for you to know who you really are and how your mind really works.  For you to gain this understanding and long lasting change I ‘work’ with all levels and aspects of you:

Energy – To Clear Energy, Blocks and Programs that do not serve you or is not yours. 

Your Conscious Mind – your beliefs and thoughts, and how you really work.

Your Emotions – to release the chemistry that keeps you physically in pain and suffering.

Your Physical Body – to release stress and Tension and increase energy flow.

The Unconscious mind’s programming and conditioning – you let go of the conditioning and it no longer sabotages you and you are free to create the Life You Love to Live.

All these Benefits / Changes ONLY happen when I ‘work’ with all of you simultaneously.

An exercise to let go of unconscious programming, that you can do yourself:

1. Before you do this exercise take a moment to be still, let go of any thoughts and allow yourself to play with the exercise, like you were a five year old child.

2. Ask your unconscious mind to make a picture* of what is bothering you.

  • you do not have to have a picture.  You can create an energy space in-front of you where you can place the feeling, sound or sensation that your unconscious mind creates.

3. Then look, see, feel and hear what is in the energy space.  Just notice it, do not judge, criticise or try to change it.

4. When you are finished noticing delete / blow up / burn in the sun the energy space and recycle the any energy from the energy space that is yours through the top of your head into your body.

5. If this is not easy to do, you may not be ready to let go of the unconscious programming right now.  Intend to let go of as much as you can.  Then you can repeat the exercise in a few days to see if anything has changed.

Let me know what happens in the comments below.  I would love to hear from you.

About Fiona Maguire

Fiona is an Intuitive Transformative Coach, International Speaker and Author.  Her specialisms are changing the Unconscious Minds Programming and working with Highly Sensitive People.  She has over 21 years of experience of being a Psychologist, therapist and a trainer.  She worked in the NHS as an assistant Psychologist and in Social Services as a Therapeutic Community Worker.

Currently Fiona runs her own practice working online, from Portugal and England.  She works with individuals, couples and corporations delivering coaching and training.

www.RealEnergy4All.com

    Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

    You might also like...

    Community//

    5 Mind-Hacks to Propel You Towards A Happier, More Successful Life.

    by Katherine Kuhn
    Community//

    How Conscious Eating Liberates You from Emotional Eating

    by Tracie Strucker
    Community//

    Want to Change Your Life Story? Start with 1 Simple Habit

    by Ash Rao
    We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.