Why Resiliency Is Important & How To Become More Resilient In Life

When we learn to be more resilient, we enable ourselves to bounce back from life's twists and turns to learn the lessons life has to teach us.

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Be resilient to ease life
When we learn to be more resilient, we enable ourselves to bounce back from life's twists and turns to learn the lessons life has to teach us.

We all want to be more resilient in life. Yet, when we see others bounce back from adversity, we wonder how they were able to do so.  Or ask ourselves why we struggle with moving past obstacles when they appear in our lives. 

But I believe resiliency is a skill we can all learn.  Why?  Because I was able to learn it so I know you can too.

When we tackle obstacles, we find hidden reserves of courage and resilience we did not know we had. And it is only when we are faced with failure do we realize that these resources were always there within us. We only need to find them and move on with our lives. ~  A.P.J. Abdul Kalam

What Does It Mean To Be Resilient?

Resiliency is about getting up again. It’s about when obstacles get in our way that we still persevere and still move forward.  Whether through small action steps or being proactive when there are circumstances that arise that caused us to pause.

So it’s essential to our recovery when we’ve had an enormous setback.  So, for example, I am a victim of childhood trauma. To survive that, something inside of me that came out allowed me to overcome my fears and limiting beliefs.  I was able to move forward and live an extraordinary life where dreams come true. Miracles happen on an everyday basis. And where I see the synchronicities in my life.  Showing that all of my dreams, all the things I’m working towards, are slowly coming to fruition.

So understanding that resiliency is the ability for us, when we get knocked down from whatever, whether it’s a physical knockdown through illness or an emotional knockdown through pain and suffering caused by another, is our ability to rise up and move forward. So we don’t wallow in self-pity, we don’t wallow in depression, and we are not living a life from a place of fear.

It’s your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop. ~ Dieter F. Uchtdorf

How Do We Become More Resilient?

For us to become more resilient, it’s something that we can actually learn.  It’s a skill set.  We can look at things and understand that we can be proactive and solution-oriented aspects of moving forward.

For example, when some situation at work occurs, and something is delayed. And that delay causes a domino effect which affects the ability to produce your product.  That you are in being able to say, okay, we can’t work on this. But we could work on these other things until that part comes in.  The ability to adjust and maneuver around the current setback and still move forward until whatever needs to be resolved can be resolved.

So us understanding that building our resiliency is based on that aspect of being able to adapt to the changing circumstances.  As well as looking at the lessons we can learn from the events. I believe that everything that happens to us happens for a reason. It’s either to help us or to help others. What I mean is that we are to see the lesson in the situation we are to learn.

And a lot of times, bad things happened to us, and we don’t see that it has potential good. And being resilient means we look for those lessons in our lives from the dire circumstances or the events we think are awful.  Or from the circumstances that arise because what we wanted, what we expected, what we hoped for, is not precisely what occurred.  Sometimes the universe knows better than we do what is in our best interest at this moment in time.

Could the reason it takes longer to achieve our dreams is because we need to grow? Maybe we need to learn these lessons along the way so that we are prepared to live that best life under those best circumstances when the dream becomes our reality.

Resilience or hardiness is the ability to adapt to new circumstances when life presents the unpredictable. ~ Salvatore R. Maddi

Reframing The Stories We Tell

Another way for us to be more resilient is to learn to reframe the stories that we tell ourselves. As we go through life, when there is an upset, when there is a bit of trauma, there is a disappointment, looking at them and determining, hmm, what is a different way to look at this?

What lesson can I learn?  But if I tell myself repeatedly that this was bad, and this is causing me harm and my dreams and won’t ever come true, then you’re right. This isn’t good. Dreams never come true. But if you look at it and say, okay, what lesson can I learn from this? How can I use this to help propel me to the next best action step, to the next best thing I’m supposed to be doing to move my dream forward?

So if we have those minor upsets, if we have those circumstances, we are resilient.  For example, if o we went to get our car maintenance done, and we get told that our water pump is broken, and we can think to ourselves, dang, now I have to spend extra money. But another way to look at it is, I’m supposed to go on a 1000 mile trip in a couple of days, thank goodness, it never broke. But that they caught them in the maintenance. They caught it. And now, I will not have any problems along the way.

That is what reframing does.  We can look at it from a negative perspective. Oh my gosh, it will cost me over five hundred dollars to just get the repair done. Versus thank goodness, I’m not stuck in the middle of anywhere, Texas, without a working car.  In the heat and no water, you know, all those things that could happen. And we can look at it and reframe it in a way that we can be thankful for what occurred. So again, this goes back to accepting what is.  When we accept what is, resiliency quickly occurs.

Resilient survivors handle their feelings well when hit with unexpected difficulties, no matter how unfair. When hurt and distressed, they expect to eventually recover and find a way to have things turn out well. ~ Al Siebert

Resiliently Moving Forward

Resilience is a skill we can learn.  When we accept what is, adapt to the circumstances, and change the stories we tell ourselves, resiliency occurs. 

Our resilience increases as we recognize the magnitude of what we have already accomplished. ~ Patricia O’Gorman

Do you need support to help you find to become more resilient?  Do you want a strategy to help you overcome the ego’s limiting beliefs and live a successful life? If so, please reach out to me at TerriKozlowski.com, and we can put together an action plan for you to create the life you desire.

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