It’s only a few weeks into the new year, yet I wanted to check in.
Is your motivation still going strong? Or is it fizzling out already?
Setting new year’s resolutions can feel like receiving a jolt of adrenaline. You’re brimming with inspiration and drive. But when you start going through what is required to manifest those resolutions…
Action isn’t always as exciting as setting the intention.
You’re certainly not alone, either. Did you know an Ipsos survey showed that 30% of new year’s resolutions fail within three months?
Imagine if this were to happen year after year? It may not be noticeable at first, but you might start to…
- Feel unworthy of manifesting your goals
- Question your competence
- Invalidate your self-worth
- Start being more critical and unkind toward yourself
- Keep postponing your goals (there’s always next year, right?)
You might even wonder why it’s worth pursuing new goals when you know you’re going to fail anyway.
It’s time to change all that.
Chances are you’re making avoidable mistakes. If you want to finally fulfill your resolutions so you can enter the next year feeling more empowered and motivated, be sure to watch out for these pitfalls.
Break the Cycle of Failed New Year’s Resolutions: How to Jump Over 7 Pitfalls and Achieve Your Goals
#1 You set one too many resolutions
Let’s face it. You’re busy.
If adjusting to the new normal during a pandemic wasn’t enough, imagine adding three, four, or even five goals on top of all your daily responsibilities!
Juggle too many things, and something is bound to drop and break.
Try this instead: choose one or two resolutions.
When it comes to your goals, less is more.
Instead of scattering your resources (and stretching yourself thin) to fulfill multiple goals, concentrate on one or two goals.
This encourages you to prioritize which goals will manifest your purpose. Start with those and save your other resolutions for the next year!
#2 You miss the target because you didn’t create one
It isn’t enough to just say:
- Lose weight
- Find a better job
- Focus on mental health
- Save more money
Vague resolutions make it too easy to miss the mark. If you don’t create a specific target, you’ll miss every time.
Try this: Focus on measurable outcomes and daily habits.
Instead of losing weight, your resolution could be to lose six pounds each month by walking 30 minutes daily. If you want to feel more grounded after a stressful workday, resolve to meditate for ten minutes each morning.
Get specific on the outcome you want to achieve. Then brainstorm how you’ll manifest that outcome through a daily habit.
#3 You hang out with your electronics too often
Provision Living surveyed 2,000 adults and found that participants spent an average of 5.4 hours daily on their smartphones.
If you work for eight hours, sleep for eight hours (ideally), and spend five hours on your phone, you only have three hours left for everything else!
After accounting for home schooling, errands, chores, and other obligations, there’s not much time left for your goals.
Try this: Set designated hours for screen time.
Setting strict “usage hours” for your phone — say two hours in the evening — helps reclaim your time. The latest news and updates on social media can wait until after you work on resolutions.
#4 You attach your self-worth to your resolutions
Do you believe you’ll be worthy of love and happiness, but only after you lose the weight… or after you make enough money… or after you do this or that.
Some women set resolutions because they think that they’ll finally feel good about themselves if they achieve them.
But when you don’t follow through, you doubt your self-worth.
Try this: Recognize that your self-worth is already there.
Your self-worth has nothing to do with any outward accomplishment. You have inherent worth because you exist.
If you fall short on your resolutions, your worth isn’t affected. You just fell short this time. When you work on your resolutions this year, know that you don’t need to prove anything to any one to be worthy.
You already are.
#5 You turn ant hills into mountains
One slip-up shouldn’t be used as an excuse for multiple setbacks in a row.
Let’s say your goal is to lose weight and fix your diet. If you over-indulge with one meal, it doesn’t mean, “Oh, I already messed up. I might as well continue to splurge for the rest of the day and restart my diet tomorrow.”
This justification sounds sweet… And it might even make sense in the moment.
But it puts you on the fast track to sabotaging all your hard work.
Try this: Get back on track ASAP!
A good rule of thumb: don’t let it happen twice. If you over-indulge in one meal, get your diet back on track for the remaining meals.
#6 You procrastinate without realizing it
Have you ever fallen prey to this type of thinking?
I want to lose weight, but I need to buy the new Fitbit first. I also need to do some research on the best workout routines. Oh, and I really need to give my workout wardrobe a refresh.
You could spend days, weeks, or even months trying to set up the perfect conditions.
This pitfall is easy to fall into because it feels like you’re doing something, but what’s really happening is you’re procrastinating.
Try this: Get started now and adjust as you go.
Your resolutions don’t require you to fulfill “prerequisites.” You don’t need all of the above to lose weight. You can start with a brisk walk outside today. And if you find that you need something, adjust as you go.
#7 You hold on to other people’s opinions
Be honest with yourself.
Do you set new year’s resolutions for yourself or do you create them so you’ll look good to others?
Of course, it’s the first reason. Whether it’s to feel more energy, experience more joy, or to create better opportunities for yourself, your well-being is at the center of your resolutions.
Why, then, would you seek external validation?
As you work on developing yourself, the people around you may notice. They may even criticize you for the changes you’re making.
A friend may be annoyed when you refuse to order pizza because you’re working on your health. A loved one may start acting passive aggressive because you’re making positive changes, while they are not.
Not everybody will cheer you on, and that’s okay (that’s why strong support systems are often rare and invaluable).
A new year’s resolution is a pledge between you and yourself to improve your life. If the desire to improve yourself exists, then the opinions of others do not matter.
Try this: Let go of what does not serve you.
The opinions of others. Perfection. Shame and guilt.
These things do not serve you. Rather, they distract you from attaining the life you desire.
Imagine what would happen if you could let all of these go. Imagine the greater ease you would experience on your self-development journey.
Is that something you desire?
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