That’s a very good question. Why should I pay attention to body language, can I get out of it something I wouldn’t get otherwise?
The answer is “DEFINITELY YES”. Body language is something like a spoken word but much older and much deeper rooted in our brains, minds and bodies. The spoken word is managed by the slower part of the brain which was developed much later than the faster part where body language is situated in. It means that body language gives more reliable messages than a spoken word.
Actually, researches showed that when there is some contradiction in spoken word and nonverbal message our brain is confused, naturally, but tend to believe in the message which is more difficult to fake.
Take a speaker, for example, when he stands in front of an audience with shaky knees, tucked shoulders and with weak voice says I am super confident in front of you… you do decide which message you will consider more genuine?
Dr Mehrabian did a 55-38-7 discovery which is proven wrong by the way, but it’s a great starting point to explaining how does it work and what are the main pillars which were considered in his research.
He said that 55% of every conversation is conveyed by body language, 38% is conveyed by voice tonality and just and only 7% takes actual words. Of course, this percentage may be right for some conversation but definitely not for all.
This percentage is changing with the subject of conversation, it’s a long story so let me make it short and easily understandable, if you want to communicate a message that is closer to emotional content, you tend to do it more with a body. For instance, sex, you know exactly what you want to achieve in this kind of “communication” even without words.
On the other hand, if you want to communicate something more intellectual or convey some idea, you tend to use more words. For example, when discussing a philosophical question, there is usually no importance on how do you say, but mostly on what you actually say.
This is not a hundred per cent right, you can find there more subtle nuances but it’s on a longer story so I will save it for next article.
Learning body language and polishing these skills help you in communication because you will become more perceptive in conversation. A proper conversation is to some extent defined by the ability of a member to react to each other in order to find the same rhythm of themselves.
When you are talking about coffee, for example, you are passionate about that, you know a lot about it so you have plenty of talks but the other member becomes bored by your stories because he does not care about coffee.
It is very much up to you at the moment spot the boredom of the other person and makes an adjustment of the conversation because if you will not do it, the conversation will be soon over.
So at the moment, you spot these boredom signs, you might start asking more to make the conversational partner talk more about his or her passions. Maybe she is a tea drinker so you will learn something new about tea drinking and you will save a conversation. You will be then perceived as a very comfy-to-be-with person and you will be more clever.
Isn’t worth to learn body language then?
If you would need any help with your body language or communication do not hesitate to contact me. I will be very happy to help you!