Hi everyone, and welcome to my latest article about self-worth and how, at times, within our lives, we will all be faced with challenges. Trials that at times may seem insurmountable as we face the hardships that life tends to throw at us, and how this can happen in many ways for us all.
Currently, like many of you reading, I’m facing the challenge that comes with being told I’m no longer required at work. Though this isn’t something new for me to meet, maybe not for you either, mainly if you work in the UK Oil & Gas Industry. Having been faced with and been made redundant many times before, going by my previous experiences, I know how tough it can be, especially when the job searching runs beyond days, weeks, and into months.
For the many of us who are made redundant and suffer from mental health illnesses, and are open about this, our problems can be significantly exacerbated; it may even make it harder for us to gain employment.
Some of you who may have read A Path to Wisdom and #Loneliness, seven-times multi-award-bestselling books, you would know how the author openly talks about the mental and emotional impact redundancy had on him and everyone around him. In the past, for me, before I began working with the author himself, Tony J. Selimi, known to many as the world’s best Life Coach, Healer, and Mentor, my OCD behaviours would increase in frequency, as would the anger that I felt towards myself and others.
These added stressors, anxieties would even cause me to suffer from increased frequency of epileptic episodes, meaning an increase to my stuttering, involuntary jerking movements, and most terrifyingly at times, my grand mal seizures. Worst-case scenario, though, would see me turning to alcohol, drugs to numb me from all these pains. Which at that time inevitably meant for me when the drinking ceased, several days, perhaps over a week of suffering withdrawal symptoms as my body would reject all the toxins, at these times it would lead me to think about contemplating suicide.
My life in the past was callous, and here I am yet again today faced with another tough test to my resilience I have built this far.
To many of you, who like me suffer from mental health illnesses and addictions I have only one thing to say, invest in yourself, in increasing your self-worth and in someone like Tony J. Selimi who has walked the talk and walks the walk.
It is Tony’s clarity coaching consultations that have assisted me in learning valuable life lessons as I went through a great deal of pain that I’ve experienced in my life. We all have dark parts of our life that we have to face, for me, it was living with Epilepsy and OCD and what they did to me. Even today, having healed myself from Epilepsy, I can recollect times from my past that bring me to tears in an instant.
The truth is, having a teacher like Tony, who through each session helps me build the confidence, the clarity and the awareness needed to integrate my being is why I’m still alive consistently.
To help you increase your self-worth, let me share how some key lessons that I got during my latest trip to London for my monthly coaching session with Tony.
As I sat on the train to London with no idea what to discuss in my session I started to recall Tony’s words, “Paul, make sure you always come prepared for your session, have at least three things that you need clarity on so you can keep going forward in your life and build more tools you need to help you overcome any challenge life presents to you.”
After arriving at Tony’s place where we have our monthly consulting sessions, I knew that he knew that by just looking at me instantly, he could sense how low, downtrodden and worthless I was feeling. He has such honed skills he didn’t even need to ask me what’s going on, truthfully, it was written all over my face. Still, he asks me questions that helps me open up with my feelings and share with him how hard it’s been for me to be a great mental health ambassador and yet being met with resistance by the very same people who promote it.
Many people judge people like me and you that suffer from low self-worthiness. One thing that they never consider is how hard it is for those of us who do take action to improve our lives. Reason being, some people may still prefer to look back and remain transfixed on who we once were. For myself, this was all compounded further when consideration is given to the treatment, I received in places I have worked in the past.
Instead of embracing my openness about my mental health story, it was ignored. For many of us, as we open up about our lives, this kind of dismissive behaviour is genuinely discouraging, worrying. It goes against the growing importance of taking mental health seriously in the business world.
Many senior managers and business leaders can, for certain benefit to bring Tony J. Selimi to help them with opening up conversations that awaken authentic leadership in every company. Many people I have spoken about mental health feel that companies are great at written words, but not as great in implementing what needs to change to support many of us suffering in silence.
When Tony asked me how I felt about these experiences, my reply was, it’s left me questioning why? Why I bothered even to try to help?
‘Even before my session began, it was obvious to myself that Tony intuitively knew that I was suffering from low self-worth, as many of you reading may do too.’
As always, Tony asks you questions that truly changes your perception of your reality. He got me to write down the answers to all of the issues he kept firing at me. The more responses I was writing, the more I started to see just how amazing I am, how all of the skills and the knowledge I have built over the years would bring countless benefits to any employer. In one session, I went from feeling worthless to feeling energised and enthusiastic about my next contract.
In part one of this article, I would love to share with you one main takeaway from my last sessions with Tony J. Selimi, a teacher like no other, that I trust you can use daily to increase your self-worth.
TJS Clarity Consultation Lesson Number One
Being a Mental Health Ambassador is what makes you a courageous and great employee that employers love to have in their organisation.
Through Tony’s outstanding ability to ask you questions you never think of, I realised that being open to talking about mental health, make videos, and write blogs in the way I do is what helps others grow their confidence in themselves. The truth is, I could think of no reasons, on questioning me the way he does to make me realise how my daily actions are not significant for those who suffer in silence. He said,
“Paul, what is of more value to an employer, an employee whose open and courageous, open to change or an employee who sabotages, remains silent and introverted?”
Maximising all of his skills learned by running multi-billion-pound technology projects, Tony is perfectly positioned to help any leader, employee or business. The other question that made me realise a lot about my self-worth was “Paul, how does being a mental health ambassador serves a company?”
Instantly my response was; it’s great for their productivity, social image, even makes them look caring when shared on social media. At this point, I asked Tony what else? To which he answered “it also promotes diversity and inclusion, open communication, builds trust and satisfies their auditors and regulators, something that many of us don’t even think about.
In part two of this article, I will share with you three more lessons that I learned from having an immersion consultation with Tony about the importance seeing your self-worth plays in your job search and in finding an employer that shares your values.
Paul McMonagle
“To step into your greatness is to acknowledge your innate thirst for adventure.” One of my favourite quotes taken from the book A Path to Wisdom by – Tony J. Selimi
P.S. If you are looking to transform your life, open up conversations in your company and amongst your leaders and employees and start the New year 2020 with a clear vision for growth than whenever you’re ready, here are three ways Tony helped me and can also help you jailbreak the prison of your mind, grow your relationship, wealth, business and accelerate your journey to excellent health, influence and success.
#1 … Grab your copy of Tony’s #1 Amazon bestselling books A Path to Wisdom and #Loneliness and enrol in Tony’s Mindfulness for Higher Productivity, Performance and Profitable Life Udemy Course! Click here to join thousands of his happy students.
#2 … Make the fastest progress by hiring Tony to work with you on a one-on-one basis or book a full day to work with you on your business. Send his team an email [email protected] and let Tony J. Selimi completely upgrade your psychology so you too can increase your self-worth and create your dream life.
#3 … Hire Tony to speak at your next company or industry event. Click HERE to download his “speaker sheet” and fill in the form with your event info, and a member of his team will send you back contract and fee info. For more information, visit Tony’s website https://tonyselimi.com it is what started me on this life-enhancing personal journey like no other.