The infamous conversation usually went something like this “So what do you do?” and my response used to be “Oh, I just stay home with my babies” I kept hearing myself say this over & over to anyone who approached me and asked that question. Why was I discrediting my job like that? Do you ever hear people say “Oh I’m just a nurse” or “I’m just a secretary”? The answer is no! I thought long and hard about it and decided I would make a conscious effort to stop saying just when talking about my job! It’s amazing what effect that little word had on me!
When I graduated nursing school I remember feeling so proud of myself! It was legit the hardest 2 years of my life and I was so happy to be done and to start my career, well about 6 months into nursing we decided to start trying for a baby and let’s just say it wasn’t hard for us! I remember all the people that would say well when you have the baby at least you have a flexible career that you can go back to part time but the truth is I didn’t want that! (This is not to say that all working moms want to work, and for those of you who wish you could stay at home I pray someday you get to! I wish the U.S did at least a year paid maternity leave for those of us who do want to stay home!) As soon as I became a mom I knew I wanted to stay home with my babies if we could make it work! Well talk about feeling judged by some, I saw so many of my nursing teachers, peers etc in those coming months after having Greleigh and those questions started rolling in “So what are you doing now?” “Where do you work?” “When are you going back to work” and thats when I became the “just” stay at home mom!
I fell into that trap of saying it over and over to people. Why did I keep making myself feel less of a successful person because I chose to stay at home with my kids? I couldn’t answer that question and I had to stop! It took me years of saying it to realize it was a problem. I was making the most important and precious job I will ever have in my eyes sound like it was something I was ashamed of to those who had actual careers!
No matter what you choose or have to do, whether it be work full time, work part-time or stay home full time with your kids, be proud! Be proud that you are doing whats best for your family, making it work even on the hard days and don’t ever let people make you feel less!
This motherhood thing is hard! It’s a judgy world and whether you are a stay at home mom or a working mom the mom guilt is real! Let’s just all love, give some grace, encourage each other because we’re all doing the best we can for our family and remember it takes a village! Go out and spread some love today, tell a working mom she’s a rockstar for holding down a job & running a household or go visit a stay-at-home mom because you might be the only adult interaction she gets all day!
Disclaimer: Just make sure you give her a heads up because she might want to put on a bra 😉
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Originally published at www.everydaywithbay.com on September 30, 2016.
Originally published at medium.com