Why I asked the love of my life to marry me, instead of waiting for him to ask

They wanted to see the ring and the pictures of the engagement, but the thing was – I didn’t have either of those. There was however a story.

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When my husband and I got engaged in 2019, almost every person assumed he asked me, and wanted to know the juicy details of how it all happened. They wanted to see the ring and the pictures of the engagement, but the thing was – I didn’t have either of those. 

There was however a story. 

I would tell them our engagement story.  How there were red cut out hearts that had reasons why we love one another, how twinkling lights hung from the ceiling, how rows and rows of photos of us throughout the years dangled by ribbons throughout the house, and how in a bed of leaves, backlit by lights, it said “My Love,  Marry Me?”. After the “omg’s” and “awws” I would then add how I got down on one knee and asked HIM to marry ME. 

It seems crazy that we are in 2021, and yet people still can’t wrap their heads about how I asked him. I got questions like “are you sure he wants to marry you?”, “Did he mind that you did that, you took his thunder!” and, my all time favorites “you emasculated him” and  “you are so brave”. My reaction was always accompanied by a chuckle, but I don’t much care for them, much less think they’re amusing. 

I want to be clear,  I am not saying that the tradition of a man asking a person to marry him is any less special, because it most definitely is! Anyone asking that question to another person is beautiful!  I am saying that the awe I received for doing it myself, was, well discouraging. In the very beginning I used to tell people he did, and end the conversation right there, but over time, it felt silly. Me asking him to marry me is and always will be a part of our love story, and I absolutely love it! 

Here is why I asked my husband to marry me – I loved him. It is that simple. I knew that the friendship we built would only get better, and I went for it. 

We are now married and purrfect cat parents. 

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