Community//

Why Hearing “No” is Not the Worst Thing

What might feel like rejection could actually be the opening of a door.

I once worked with someone who couldn’t handle the answer, “No.” It was a lot like dealing with a child. One day I literally saw her stomp, raise her voice and throw a book! She then spent the rest of the day trying “rallying the troops” and trying to get other employees on her side – just to hear someone say she was right and should have gotten what she wanted. At one point, she went so far as to file a grievance against her boss. Hearing ‘no’ was not in her skillset and really hurt her in the long run.

Whether she felt she was right or not, had she bothered to take a moment of self-reflection, she may have seen there were non-personal reasons she hadn’t gotten what she wanted.

‘Hearing no is not the worst thing in the world. What might feel like rejection could actually be the opening of a door. It’s all about how you perceive the situation. If you take a moment to view the opportunities, there may be great things in the mix. Remember there is always a win-win to be had if you keep your eyes open to possibilities. Besides that, negativity will rarely bring you satisfaction or bring about the change you’re looking for.  

Here’s some reality for you: You aren’t entitled to everything you want. But! You can negotiate just about everything! From your cell phone bill and your cable service to salaries and even your home loan – it’s all negotiable. And that means a NO is really a NOT NOW.

How do you negotiate through a No? Here’s three critical pieces:

  1. Change your mind set about win-lose situations. No one has to lose in a negotiation, and it doesn’t have to be aggressive. We talked about the finer points of win-win deals a few weeks ago. The art of interest-based negotiating (and if you haven’t studied up on IBN, do so right now!) is realizing you and the other person both want the same thing: a good deal. So, find the win-win! How? Talk! Continue the conversation until you both discover a mutually beneficial solution.
  2. Come to the table prepared. You wouldn’t take a test completely unprepared, so why would you begin negotiations without a plan? Do your research. Know what can help the other person, but also know what else is available on the market. Shop around, have the price comparisons and services ready. Careful research also shows the other person how seriously you take them and respect their time – which is already a win-win!
  3. Rehearsal. There’s a reason I include role playing when I’m coaching clients – it works! Break out of your comfort zone and practice in front of the mirror, with a friend, with a colleague – or even better yet, find a mentor and practice with them. Write a script if it helps!

To reframe over ‘No’, realize you have a big opportunity to learn something about yourself or the situation. You get to understand why it’s a ‘no’ and explore it. Ask why! Be respectful and professional and most people will share their rational.

So, this week, find something small to negotiate like the interest rate on your credit card, write a script, do your research and make the ask! You can absolutely do this!

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...

Community//

And Then Everything Changed.

by Shanna Sabet
Work Smarter//

While You Wait For the World to Change

by Strategic Innovations Group, Inc.
Community//

People Think You Are Proud, Are You?

by Michael Usiagwu

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.