You have a big title, an extra-large role, and the pressure to boot. People expect everything from you from the boardroom, at the kitchen table, or in the bedroom. There are very few people you trust and most expect something in return. Your frustration is real, your business challenges complex and the daunting issues mount with each passing day. Not only is the future of your family in the forefront of your mind; but all of theindividuals who serve you. Without them; you wouldn’t have a business.
The amount of time you spend processing the day-to-day commotion, your next big moves, reconfiguring costly lessons learned; all the while squeezing in moments to ensure your decisions and next steps align with your mission and vision priorities.
That’s a lot of mental chaos. In fact, my guess is that the chaos runs rampant in your head like the karate kid’s worst enemy. Your mind on overdrive is time and time is money. Your time is money and you know you can’t ignore all of it; because you also know ignorance is not bliss.
As a business owner and the daughter of two business owners AND having been a trusted advisor for many executives during my 26-year tenure in corporate, I’ve seen it all. I sat through more chaos and witnessed more heads in hands and deep, soul-searching sighs, eye rolls, and long, long moments of silence than I will ever have enough fingers and toes to count on. All of these lessons taught me that it is lonely at the top.
Growing up, my dad’s trusted advisor was the kitchen table during our (mostly silent) family dinners. We were only to speak when granted permission or to respond to a question. Occasionally, a random swear word emerged from my dad’s mouth and he quickly went quiet again. Thinking back on it; I know I had a grin on my face (trying desperately not to laugh) and my eyes were wide open. Many moments were quite perplexing as it looked and felt like my dad was crazy. You couldn’t predict the words that would spill from his mouth; you were fearful of crossing him and unsure of your next step as it was crucial not to disrupt his moment of peace.
I’ve since learned he is a good man, with a kind heart, and a big laugh. For my entire childhood, he was a very stressed out human with a lot of lives and their futures he held so tight in his hands.
What I didn’t know then; but have since learned was that dinner time was his trusted advisor time. He processed his day, the lessons learned and calculated how his future days looked. He was assessing how quickly he would collect payment when work was complete, how quickly he could pay his employees (and their families), how long it would be before our cupboards were once again full and when we might be in need of something yet another basic family needs.
While his business was small, the challenges were as loud and large as he allowed them to be while floating around in his head.
As a coach, I call this self-coaching 101. Not a bad idea when you need to start; but not a long-term solution. It doesn’t move very fast and doesn’t get you out of your head.
Back to my dad. His self-coaching time extended well beyond dinner and into the evening. This was all mental work. His physical and emotional workday started at 5 am and ended at 10 pm or when he fell asleep in his chair watching the news. As a family; there was little laughter or general conversation, but very little emotional presence.
That mental work and (lack of) emotional presence is just as expensive as the physical work. It takes time to process the constant commotion, the finite details, the next set of decisions. Fatigue kicks in and the spillover takes a toll on your personal life; following you all the way to the bedroom.
I’m certain you already know this, but I’ll call it out. The bigger your business, the bigger the problems, the bigger risk. You also have more overhead, more employees, more emotion to navigate, and more overall pressure to perform.
I also understand that a problem is only as big as you make it. When you make it big; it will play out big. The opposite is ignorance and you already know ignorance is not bliss and it never ends well.
Let me ask you, how big are your problems? How much time does it cost you? What does the emotional and financial impact look like in your business and in your home?
You might say that it ebbs and flows but there IS always mental chaos in the business. I’ve actively participated in countless closed-door meetings in businesses as large as Fortune 4 to 40 person companies with similar stories and problems at the top levels. I know chaos is always present.
The stories most often look like this….I walk into a meeting with the department CEO. Meeting purpose: inform him, get what I need, and steer the conversation to make decisions, and get shit done. That shouldn’t be a surprise; since your business is likely the same. It’s all about speed to market, happy clients and employees, making money, navigating ambiguity, and mitigating risks.
You already know getting the real work done isn’t that easy. But maybe, sometimes you make it harder than it really is…
Back to the meeting. He would call me into his office for our one on one, ask if he could close the door, then sit down in his chair behind his desk, take a deep sigh and put his hands in his head, and shake his head. I call this the “hands in head syndrome”.
My response was silence, at least for a minute. Then he would look up to speak, ask a question, sigh again, roll his eyes, express his thoughts that may or may not be applicable to the meeting and we may (or may not) get what I needed to get done while we were together.
Frankly, that’s no way to live. But, there is a better way to navigate the complexity of your business and the bleed into your home life.
Why? Your time is precious and valuable. How you manage the commotion and chaos in the office is the same way you will manage the commotion and chaos at home.
This is one reason why every CEO needs a trusted advisor. There is no reason for you to ever use your kitchen table or the people around it as the voice of reason. You deserve better. They deserve better.
What is a trusted advisor?
A trusted advisor is an experienced coach who creates a non-judgmental space and environment for you to process the constant commotion of your complex business challenges and personal challenges.
Three (More) Reasons Why You Need One, Now!
First and most importantly, when you’ve found the right one for you, your trusted advisor will ask you the hard questions that get you to the root of your business challenges and personal dilemmas. Together, you will create a plan that aligns with your goals; ultimately reclaiming your time, your sanity, and your life.
Trusted advisors will hold space. Space is the place you go to release all of the stressors, ideas, worries, and fears circling on repeat in your head. Space is a judgment-free zone. Space is a place designed just for you and your needs.
Lastly, trusted advisors redirect you back to your strengths. You work through identified blind spots that impact your business or company and ultimately your personal life. With the overall goal of reaching your next level of personal, professional, and spiritual mastery. When you reach this level, you have reclaimed your time, your health, and your wealth. All of these factors are financially and emotionally valuable.
How you lead your business is how you lead your home. What you do and how you do it doesn’t stop when you walk out of your office door and into your front door. What will you do to make it better for yourself, your business, and your family?
Need a Trusted Advisor? Book a Call! Let’s talk.
Stacy works with small to medium size biz owners, entrepreneurs, executives, leaders around the globe as the voice of reason to ask them the hard questions that save them 6 to 9 figures a year.