Community//

Why couples need to understand each other’s love language.

Lean to manage your expectations because we can never do things the same way.

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By Fred Masika.

It is a strange concept to many of us and I thought that the first person to talk to me of love language was crazy, for me love was love. Nothing could define it. But I later understood what the person actually meant; and may be you too will. If you have no idea; now I know that there are five love languages; ie acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation, physical touch and quality time. I am okay with the acts of service, words are also my thing especially when someone needs encouragement and I do like giving gifts just like I enjoy receiving them, quality time is mostly likely my number one priority and I do love God foods and company out of all the love languages. Physical touch especially is not my thing and I have never really been a touchy person, I hate touching and being touched but as it’s Said that if you don’t change, change changes you. So I have been forced to adjust because many people around me communicate this way. I partly blame it on how I was raised that I was never really hugged as a child hence I felt weird for me with all the huggers I meet at school, church and on town streets. I thing we would all be better off In all our relationships if we leant each other’s love languages. Each time I heard married ladies complaining but its all about how their spouses fail to pay attention to them. That they don’t compliment them, they don’t buy the gifts neither take them to outings. This has caused many issues in different relationships because many ladies have tried to change their husbands into something else that they want them to be by making comparisons with other couples which is inevitable mostly on rentals where they are in the same compounds and may be same building but different doors forgetting that the Bible also says” there is time for everything”. Making their lovers feel inadequate when keep complaining. This brings men tending to thing that ladies don’t appreciate them with all that they do. Imagine how simple it would be if we accepted each other for who we are. I know it takes time for one to accept that their lovers will never compliment them because ladies feed on praise. But one has to try if they have decided to spent their lives with that person. I know that human nature makes this difficult because we have high expectations of others and if they are not fulfilled, we tend to relax and the thing that used to make the relationship worthwhile seize for example if you like giving gifts and you lover doesn’t. I don’t thing you should stop giving gifts because of that No. Those gifts make one feel so special and if one is not doing the same for you pleas look out for what your partner’s love language could be. Let us learn to manage our expectations because as we all know we shall never do things the same way. Each of us have ways in which we express our love to each other. All we have to do is get to know ourselves better and be who we are. To love is a choice and one that must be feed. Therefore rather than complaining and ranting about out lovers, we should learn their love languages and speak them.

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