Why Can’t We Control Our Anger?

When one is seen silently tolerating on the outside but is fuming inside, it is called anger only. It is actually double the anger because to tolerate means to keep suppressing. One suddenly comes to realize about it only when the ‘spring’ rebounds one day. Therefore, Gnani advises, “Do not tolerate. Bring about a solution […]

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When one is seen silently tolerating on the outside but is fuming inside, it is called anger only. It is actually double the anger because to tolerate means to keep suppressing. One suddenly comes to realize about it only when the ‘spring’ rebounds one day. Therefore, Gnani advises, “Do not tolerate. Bring about a solution through Gnan (Right Knowledge).”

Anger is a weakness; yet people generally think it to be one’s strength. As compared to a person who gets angry, a person who does not get angry possesses an incredible silent aura of serenity and purity!  

Let’s understand.

Anger is not something that one can control or suppress because anger is an effect. To stop the effect, one needs to rectify the causes. 

Causes of anger

We feel we are right many a times and if someone accuses us of being wrong, then we get angry. However, our being right is only according to our viewpoint, isn’t it? Everyone feels he is correct, so the other should follow him. 

When things don’t happen our way, then anger arises. The other cause for anger is when we are misunderstood by another person or when our viewpoint clashes with the other’s viewpoint. It is because we don’t know how to reason and how to handle it peacefully that we get angry. We also become angry when we are insulted, when we incur a loss, when we try to protect our pride or our greed. 

And the ultimate reason why a person gets angry is because his vision gets blocked! When does a person collide with the wall? It is when he is not able to see the wall, isn’t it?! Similarly, when a person is not able to see from within, he ends up getting angry. Since he is not able to find the solution to move ahead, he ends up getting angry. 

How can we get rid of anger?

If the house-maid were to break the cup and saucer, then anger would arise. And what if the son-in-law were to break it? There is no anger at all! It means anger is only dependent on one’s belief, isn’t it?

We should first understand how we feel when someone gets angry on us. Treat others the way you would like to be treated. We can also ask for strength from the Lord within, to help us overcome anger. 

The following four steps can help to get rid of anger:

Step-1: Change the wrong beliefs that, ‘Anger is required to control situations, Anger is bravery, etc.’ And understand and set the right belief that, ‘Anger is a weakness. The personality of the one without anger impresses others, Where anger dissolves, there is a silent aura of serenity and purity, etc.’

Step-2: Analyse the dangerous consequences of anger. Understand how anger damages one’s health, ruins one’s relationships and sets everything on fire. Also analyse how things run smoothly without anger.

Step-3: Wherever and whenever anger arises, you should make a mental note of it and maintain awareness over it. And whoever has been hurt by your anger, you should do pratikraman i.e. remember the God sitting in the person offended, and confess before Him our mistake, also apologize and repent for that mistake, and finally make a firm resolve to never repeat that mistake. This is because whomever you get angry towards, they will feel hurt. And one can never be liberated by hurting others. 

Step-4: Whenever you get angry, accept that ‘it is my weakness’; do not protect your anger. When someone around us cautions us, “You should not have got angry”, very often we immediately protect our anger by saying, “No, it was right to get angry in this situation; else this work would not have been done.” So our anger gets extension and it feels safe to be with us as we are not against it. When we accept our mistakes, we will be surprised to find that the anger runs away from us.

To get permanent freedom from anger, Acquire Self-Realization 

Anger-pride-deceit and greed are known as kashayas which are the weaknesses within us. Presently, the rule of these kashayas prevail. They are the ones running our life. 

When one’s anger is controlled through his ego, the bondage in fact increases. But when Gnani graces us with Self-Realization, he fractures this ego and sets in us the right belief of, ‘I am a Pure Soul.’ As this belief changes, the anger leaves naturally as it does not get any support of the ego. Also after Self-Realization, it becomes very easy to follow the four steps discussed above. 

So, let us meet Gnani, the Enlightened One, and attain Self-realization!!! There is no cost attached to this; hence we have nothing to lose. And what we gain for sure is a peaceful life without anger, in the shelter of Gnani; a life filled with Real love and Bliss!!!

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