Even When It’s What I Say I Want?
There is nothing worse than knowing you want to create something in your business, but actually struggling to sit down and do it. You know what I mean. Lately, for me, this shows up when it’s time to work on my book. I want to sit down and work on it, but something happens, and I end up not doing it. I get so frustrated with myself.
This frustration is especially difficult for us crazy entrepreneurs. We have such big dreams. Not creating what we envision for ourselves can create a lot of suffering — mentally and financially. So, if it’s such a problem, why do we resist?
What is Resistance?
Merriam-Webster defines Resistance as a noun, meaning: the attempt to prevent something by action or argument.
Just looking at that definition was enlightening. “The attempt to prevent something by action…” That means my actions, or lack thereof are in some way preventing me from creating what I want?
Why would that happen if it’s what I say I want?
Resistance can show up in a million different ways. What you are in resistance to creating in your life and business is very personal to you, what you think you deserve, and your previous life experience. I will also tell you, that likely, it’s subconscious. Or you would already be clear about it.
I believe that when you are subconsciously sabotaging yourself, it means that on some level, you don’t think you deserve it. You are putting the thing you want, up on a pedestal. Above you. Outside of your natural ability to create it, or receive it. If you don’t think you deserve it, you will end up pushing it away.
Let’s talk about where resistance shows up in your business and your body. Your body, mind and spirit are constantly telling you where there is resistance. It’s simply a matter of listening. Once you understand how your body is communicating with you, you can work to shift into action.
Your body will show you when you are in some sort of resistance. Your body gives you so much information, if only you’d listen.
How does your physical energy support this project? Is it easy for you to sit down and work on it? Is it easy to focus? Do you want to get up from your chair? Do you get sleepy? Or do you easily sit down and complete your tasks?
Or you could ask it this way. When you think about this project, how does it sit in your body? Is it light and expansive feeling? Or do things start to tighten up when you think about it?
If you find your body responds in an expansive and supportive way when you think about your project, then great! You are in alignment physically. Your body is in agreement with what you are working on.
If not, if you struggle to sit down and work, that’s resistance for sure. If you end up doing all of the dishes before you work on your business, then you are in resistance. And how can you complete anything if you can’t focus and work on it?
I talk about what to do about it when you are aware of it below.
This is a tricky one. Many entrepreneurs struggle here. Mostly because so many of us spend so much time in our heads — worrying about the past and the future. What I find so interesting about mental resistance is its power — when in fact — it’s a simple thought.
Here’s how you know if you are in mental resistance. Do you spend more time thinking about why you can’t do this? Why it won’t succeed? How, of course, you will fail? Are the good majority of your thoughts around this idea or project unsupportive? If this is the case, you are absolutely in resistance to what you are creating.
On the other hand, your mental energy is in support if you find that you are easily able to hold the vision of what you want to create. Whether you have it already or not. If you KNOW, without a shadow of a doubt, that your creation is on its way to you, your mental energy is absolutely in agreement.
Your spiritual energy, your life force, your higher self, this energy wants purpose and expansion for you. When I check in here, it takes some quiet, and mental concentration. Your spiritual energy is more subtle, and isn’t as easy to hear when there is a lot of noise.
Does what your working on fulfill you deep inside? Does it help you live more fully into your purpose? Does it help you to continue to expand and grow?
If the answer is yes, you are aligned and on purpose. Congrats!
If not, then this can show up as feeling bored. Dissatisfied. Unhappy in a way that you can’t quite explain. Thinking that if only you could ________, then you would be happy.
How Do I Fix It?
If you find any part of your self out of alignment, this is where you stop taking action, and find out what is really going on. Pushing forward through resistance without doing a little inner work first, can slow you down even more.
Take your favorite way in. Set an intention of coming up with the answer to why you are in resistance. Meditation. Journaling. Maybe, for you, it’s a bath. Maybe it’s talking to your coach, therapist or friend. Whatever gets you grounded and centered and in your body.
Then start asking your self why you don’t think you should have this. Why is this above me? What about this feels out of my reach? Scary? Too hard?
Keep writing. Or meditating until you get to the reason. You’ll know when you’ve found it when there is some emotion attached to it. Or, you just know it.
Once you know what’s in your way, you can start to work your way through it consciously and with care. One step at a time. If you push, you’ll stay stuck in resistance. And end up in December of 2019 wondering why you didn’t take action on that thing you said you so badly wanted.