Twists and turns, bumps and dips, yawning chasms and sheer cliff faces are a part of everyone’s path in life. It’s tough to see the value in these experiences when you’re facing them in the moment. And, no, most things don’t happen for a reason because that would require some sort of intellectual understanding which is something we often won’t have access to since we are limited by our point of view at any given time.
The paradoxical truth is that the events of life may not have a reason but they are purposeful.
We may not see the purpose in the moment, we may never see it, but it’s always there. It’s one of the great learnings in life to open your awareness to embrace the purpose of a thing, especially if it’s an unpleasant happening, person, or condition.
For example, right now, I’m enrolled in a fairly premium mastery group to learn how to package and deliver my coaching product. And while they promise a clear path from Point A to Point B, only the first two-thirds of the curriculum actually feel like that. The yawning chasm and sheer cliff face that is the beginning of the final third feels very disorienting. It feels like the goalposts keep moving. I’ve been stuck at this step for four months and I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I have a growing sense that this isn’t the right fit for me because I’ve spent seven months already in this program and I feel like I don’t have a lot to show for it.
Which of course, isn’t true. As a coach, one of the most valuable questions you can ask a client is, ‘How true is that really?’ It’s so easy for our minds to prefer the information that supports the story of the moment. As a result, we filter out anything that contradicts how we’re feeling.
Feeling frustrated and lost? This entire investment has been a waste of time.
Don’t see signs of success on the horizon? This system probably won’t ever work for me.
So, yes, this system may not be the best fit for what I do and who I serve. It’s true that there are some strategies that haven’t yielded the results I wanted and would appear to require expertise I don’t currently have or want to invest my time in acquiring. From this vantage point, I can see others sharing the same struggles and definitely see that it’s not just me.
However, when I ask myself, ‘How true is it that this has been a complete waste of time, attention, and dollars?” I’m able to glimpse some of the beauty and purpose of this experience.
The more spacious truth is that I’ve met and am now connected to some amazing people from around the world who I’ve come to care about and admire.
It’s clear that we wouldn’t have met in any other way. Add to that the fact that I’ve been gifted the time and attention of these caring and talented people to help me solve the puzzle of telling the story of my work to the people for whom it matters. And top it off with the understanding that I’ve learned to think about my work in an entirely new way that deepens what I offer and how I share it.
Will I finish up this 12-month odyssey with the prize I signed up to win? To quote the Magic 8 Ball:
“Reply hazy, try again.”
Will my life be richer because of the generous, accomplished humans I’ve spent time with?
“It is certain.”