I was listening to the radio when one of the lines of a song caught my attention. It was along the lines of “Some people are like clouds; the day gets brighter when the go away”. This made me reflect & smile as over the last couple of years I’ve been actively involved in ‘cloud dispersing’.
I had identified that there were a number of people, some really close to me, that caused my days (and mood) to darken. Instinctively I knew that I was consistently the one giving in the relationship only to be ‘punished’ in some way. As my mind turned to culling some of these relationships, I initially felt intense guilt. Some of these people had been in my life for a very long time and had at various times been very close. But, the relationship wasn’t serving me and probably, not them either.
That’s when I remembered a saying someone shared with me;
“People are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime”
Funny how this came back to me even though I’d apparently ‘forgotten’ the wisdom. Now, time for cards on table here. I’m an Introvert, a Flourishing Introvert, but I have a bad habit of ‘people-pleasing’. so the thought of deliberately cutting people adrift wasn’t a comfortable one for me but the saying above allowed me to consider which reasons were no longer relevant & which seasons were now past. And, biggest of all, which lifetimes were over!! I revisited my needs (a great exercise for those of you who’ve not yet done it) and set myself some new boundaries.
A bit like Marie Kondo, the now infamous ‘tidying’ expert, I looked in turn at people who always seemed to drain my energy without giving anything appreciable back and I asked myself a few questions.
- Do they give me joy even if I need to recharge afterwards?
- Do I learn from them, even if it is uncomfortable?
- Are our values aligned?
- Are our paths on a similar trajectory?
- Do I love them unconditionally?
Once I had my answers, I was able to huff & puff & blow those dark clouds away. I revelled in the dispersing clouds without guilt, without shame and with joy in my heart. And it’s so much brighter here now!
What about you? If you have people who are casting shadows and blocking the light in your life, ask yourself those questions. Then, decide where you need to huff & puff so you can disperse your dark clouds.
You’ll be amazed at how much more peaceful everything seems afterwards.