Who would you say the most important person in your life is? Your parents? Your children? Your partner? Yes, of course, these people are going to be top on your list however I would like to bring YOU into this equation. You have to get yourself on top of the list and this important person can be the most neglected. We’re often so busy keeping everyone else happy, we can forget to spend any time getting to know what makes us tick and who we truly are. This is why I believe so many of us are feeling lost, unhappy, and dissatisfied. Well, my friend, this has to change, you from now on need to spend a little time on YOU and I know you are in there, lying dormant waiting to be unleashed!
We all have a number of roles we can identify with for me, the role of a mother, wife, friend, coach, auntie, daughter, sister, etc. Roles can give us a structure and purpose but if we begin believing in the roles we play, we may begin more and more willing to sacrifice ourselves and others to them.
Exhausting when you think how much we have to do to keep all these roles in our lives going. This is is why often we can often find ourselves more successful in some roles than others. We basically become all things to all people but with all this going on, we may lose or never find our true self along the way.
You Are More Than A Role
If you are a mum you will be familiar with this scenario, you go to your child’s school and everyone knows you as “(your child’s name) mum” you haven’t got a name anymore, you’re now a mum. Of course, there’s absolutely no problem with this, as long as you know yourself. This is where many of us go wrong, we are too busy putting our children above ourselves and not considering our own well-being and needs.
The most important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself. Your emotional well-being will all stem from how you feel about yourself.
Many of us define ourselves by our profession which can have its drawbacks. Often people who are attached to this role can struggle when they’re made redundant or retire as the lack of purpose can strip them of their self-image. With the position, the person would have seen themselves as a contributor, a productive member of society, an income provider, without they may feel lost and not worthy. The person had their identity tied up in their position, rather than who they are as a person.
You Are In There
The loss of identity can happen following a life event, trauma, or any change that leaves a void. Such circumstances may result in low self-esteem, depression, loss of self-confidence, anxiety, loneliness all of which can threaten our ability to connect with others.
These negative emotions can be avoided by making the effort to find out who you are. Focusing on what makes you as a person, rather than your occupation, title, position in the community is the key.