Let us pretend that you are a naughty monkey.
You live in a beautiful jungle with so many other mischievous monkeys. You wanted to remain very unique and loved by all. One day while playing you see a snake crawling under your tree. You look down and catch the crawling snake by his throat. Immediately the snake slithers around your arm and is just ready to bite you when you are going to put it down.
Just imagine what would happen next. Your life becomes miserable right? Your days are suddenly in the dark.
All your monkey friends become afraid, none will come for your help in fear that the snake would bite them. You are just left alone, you stop eating, you end sleeping, you feel your life is doomed. Afraid of the snake you still catch hold of it very tightly as the moment you leave it your life is going to end. You pray for help, you think someone is going to help you!
Then What happens?
I come for the rescue, I look at you and tell you…Drop the snake now it is long dead already. You were catching it very tight, so the snake was not able to breathe.
This is your Life, my friend when you are depressed. You catch hold of your emotions even after they are long dead.
Almost everyone is depressed one way or another in their life. We cannot imagine life without being depressed. Some situations really break us apart, We become so broken that we are on the verge of no return to our healthy lives. There are some of the moments that we need to be really depressed but after some point of time we need to return back else our depression will become like a blanket wrapped around us and we will only be dreaming, there will be no waking up.
Our depression becomes our way of life. We love darkness, our eyes become irritated when we see the light. Mirage becomes a reality. But some times, not all adverse events require us to be depressed. There is an enormous difference between Valid depressions and invalid depressions.
Loss of a loved one or a prolonged illness is deemed worthy of depression, but Since because your best friend has a better girlfriend than yours is not considered to be a noble reason for your depression.
These are times we need to understand for what shit we need to be depressed and what shit we should never be depressed. Now it has become our culture to become depressed and be let known to others that we are victims of disorders.
Our sympathies and illness are liked and commented by many, and we seem to enjoy the process both consciously and unconsciously.
The toughness and persistence that our parents once possessed are slowly fading among our generation.
We are exceptionally hard workers, we earn more than our previous generations, we are ready to study more and gather new ideas, but when it comes to getting up after a fall, we are slowly becoming weak and weaker day by day. We are depressed for simple and silly happenings in our life.
Trivial vs Significant worries:
We as social animals exhibit a varying degree of emotions, almost all feelings that we feel within need to be justified by us. To justify every emotion that we feel, we tend to find possible cause and effect scenario.
During times of depression, everyone tends to be the most celebrated creators. Our imaginations run wilder than the wildest horses. For simple reasons, we tend to be great personalities who can put forward the most complex theories that even the most celebrated scientist can fail.
We need to understand that not all emotions are significant. We tend to become very emotional for trivial happenings. Silly situations are enough to prick our volatile ego’s and can spark our imaginations. Had we put this effort elsewhere we would have been a creator and inventor.
During trials and tribulations, we need to look at the situation in-depth and categorise whether it necessitates being depressed. Separation of our emotions from the events can help us understand the gravity of the situation.
Not all winds become storms and hurricanes, what if just was a small breeze and we made it worse.
Many times we feel ashamed by our worries. Its time we justified our excuses for being depressed.
Robert Greene in his latest book, Laws of Human Nature indicates that Moments of Depression are a call to listen to your inner Authority.
Self Criticism and Resentment:
Many of the depressions are self-created by our very own creative and imaginative minds.
Self-criticism and resentment is the Mother and father of the Depression.
Most of our self-criticism is the direct result of our insecurities or our dependency on too much security that we require in our life. We refuse to believe that Life is uncertain and uncertainty is the beauty of our Life.
We love to create every moment in our life. We are just afraid of uncertainties. We human beings believe that we are logical and rational. Not all situations will have the right answers for every question we put forth in our life.
Trying to find meaning for everything that we face will lead us into deep shit. Some times we need to understand that it is just like that will be just like that. We are very complicated creatures by nature and trying to justify every action will put us under deep depression.
Don’t try to find the meaning of your Life, sometimes you just need to live, that’s it.
If you are feeling depressed that you have very less money now, can you really justify that you will not have money after a year or after ten years? The answer can be both positive and negative. Why hold on to the negative when you have the choice of embracing the positive.
Mark Twain said, “Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.”
Mr.Nice Guy:
If you really want to be the Mr.Nice guy, then depression can be your best friend. The expectation is the mother of all frustration. Trying to meet everyone’s expectation is your road to ruin.
It is impossible to meet the expectation of a single well-known person then how could it be possible to satisfy many around us?
Taking the stance of Mr.Nice guy is just a method of avoiding conflicts and confrontations. Look at yourself in the mirror, Are you happy being someone’s puppet?
You may be born free, but in the journey of pleasing others, you became their slave. The moment you silence your inner voice the fire in you is lost. We need not be the rebel, but sometimes stopping and listening can quieten our nerves.
Learn to remove your mask and look at your face in the mirror. Maybe your face has pimples, and the cover seems clear; still, the beauty lies in the original.
Naked Truth shines brightest even in the deepest darkness. Learn to be you, even when it sucks.
Put A big full stop to the lines”I am Happy if you are happy”.Not to be depressed in the real sense, some amount of selfishness is required.
Be selfish for happiness. If you are thrilled, then you will be able to spread the light of joy.
When I smoked I heard many times, a single cigarette will reduce your lifetime in hours, now I really understand the truth, a single hour spend in depression will reduce your life by years.
This is the best form of de-addiction to your life. Don’t be addicted to depression, its time to rehabilitate and live.
The Lure of False Purposes:
The book Laws of Human Nature speaks a lot about False purposes. Our Work life determines the majority of the years we live in this world. During the initial period of our working, we deem our self that this is the best kind of work that we should be in. We tend to take quick decisions without asking our hearts, and over the more extended period, we tend to repent for our choices.
Many are driven by false fantasies. We become obsessed with the size of the army that we command or the no if courtiers that serve us. This false sense of purpose and further propaganda is made a reality by our social media today .The no of likes and general acceptance can be equivalent to the fame no king has got in the earlier generations.
The lure of false purpose has created an emptiness in our minds. So the cloud passes and then no one really cares about us
Life once again becomes empty.
This emptiness is the cause of work-related depressions. If you hate your Mondays to Thursdays continuously and eagerly await Friday every week for the entire year, I think its time you thought of something else.
Being a dick head is not your birthright:
When someone calls you a “Dick Head” turn and look back.When everyone tells you are a “Dick head” turn and look inside, cause you may be the real cause of depression to yourself and to others.
Some people love to make others lives miserable. They expect a lot from others, they need constant acknowledgment to everything they make and do.They want things to be in a certain way.
They love to micromanage everything in their lives. When things are not happening as they predicted then depression creeps in. Perfectionists and Micromanagers are periodically prone to depressions.
Either they burn out due to their intrinsic targets or become depressed due to External causes.
Great people were dickheads at some point of time in their lives, but they understood about their hurdles in their character. To be really great is to understand your imperfections. No one can be perfect in anything or everything. Its time we really evaluated ourselves.
Ask your loved ones your flaws, you can be really surprised by their answers.Maybe its time to change.
Getting trapped in your own head is the greatest prison that mankind has ever built.There are no doors or windows to your prison.You are both the prisoner and the gatekeeper to your prison.The decision to be in or out is solely based on your choice.
Conclusion:
Depression is not a disease, sometimes counselling and drugs may be required if we are indeed lost to a certain extent. Most of our depressions are made by our perception of reality.
My depression slowly faded when I focused on what I can control. I learned the hard truth that things will take its own time and Time heals all wounds.
There may be scars left in my life, but I learned injuries are essential in everyone’s lives. It shows who you really are. Life cannot be a clean slate, there will be moments where you can never erase, slowly it will fade if you keep moving.
“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson