How to Know When You’ve Outgrown Your Friends and What to Do About It

Not all friendships are meant to last—and that's OK.

Juanmonino/Getty Images
Juanmonino/Getty Images

By Rosesarecool

Real talk: If you’ve began to wonder whether you’re outgrowing one of your friendships, it’s probably the most important sign that you have. Sometimes our instincts tell us things our heart aren’t ready to accept. If you’re afraid of making a hasty decision about ending a friendship, don’t worry: We’ve got a list of the most important signs.


If the friendship you developed with someone was based on the space you mutually occupied at the time you met (either physical or mental), it may be time to move on if you’re no longer in that space. Whether it’s one of you moving across the country or your interests changing, this is a classic reason friendships end. Maybe this person was only meant to be with you for a season.


If you find yourself comparing some of your friendships and thinking, “This person understands me so much more than that person,” it’s a sign you shouldn’t avoid. Listen to your gut.


There are certain people in the world with a very strong sense of self. They know exactly who they are and that doesn’t change, no matter who’s around. Then there are those that are more like chameleons; they change their behavior depending on the company and setting. Both personalities have their advantages, but chameleons can start to feel held back by some of the very people they call friends because they overexert themselves to make the relationship work. If you feel there are certain things you can’t say or do around your friends because it might upset them, then it might be a sign that friendship is becoming a burden.


I used to love getting to know people that were different from me. While I still do, I’ve started to understand why so many people choose to surround themselves with like-minded people. There are more than seven billion human beings in this world. A mathematician I am not, but to me, that means that at any moment, there are always a couple thousand people who understand what you’re going through. However, if you don’t happen to know any of those people, you may end up feeling very alone. Differences should be celebrated, but not for its own sake.

Friendships don’t necessarily end because someone did something. Sometimes, the connection you had with someone gets lost—and that’s no one’s fault—but it might mean it’s time to move on. Life is hard, but friendship is supposed to make it easier.

If yours feel like a lot of work, you should reevaluate. Perhaps a simple heart-to-heart will fix the problem. If not, it’s OK to go your separate ways.

Outgrowing a friend is never easy, but luckily, there are so many new friends waiting to meet you. Start swiping here.

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