Comparingitis is pretty overwhelming when it hits you, but a lot of it really is self-inflicted. Kind of like when you may drink, or eat too much junk, you know the after effects won’t be so pretty. So this particular week I was busy doing my thing, working, studying, plotting my next move and whilst doing all of this my social media was on constantly!! A bit like the packet of cookies on the desk when you promise to eat one but have a little binge fest whilst continuing to go about your day.
My binge fest was on social media, I was looking at Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and I was starting to feel the symptoms of comparingitis. This is when you compare who you are right now to every other person around you. They are usually the ones who are flying in what they are doing, the ones who look super successful, the ones at the height of their game. Each one appeared more successful, smarter, more forward thinking, and I felt smaller and smaller and thinking I just can’t compete with this. Everyone is way ahead of me so is there any point in me even starting? Everyone already has the thousands of followers, likes, comments, friends and I am literally just starting.
I started to seriously judge and doubt myself, I am a one-lady band and didn’t have a big team behind me to boost me, or plough ahead, and continue to light the world on fire whilst I had a moment. I spoke to my husband about this and he said to me, anyone could have all these qualities, traits, marketing plans etc, but NO BODY IS YOU! At first I thought yay lucky for them, then I thought no lucky for ME! He was absolutely right, there is not a single person on this planet that is like me and I have a lot to share and give.
Distressing myself and comparing myself to others was not serving me, it never had. I recall having the same syndrome when I became a new mum, when I became the school mum, when I was making friends over the years, when I was working with other colleagues. I was constantly comparing myself to the ‘better’ others thinking I am not enough.
It’s funny how we don’t always look at the journeys of the ‘successful’ people, the 10,000 failed attempts before the light bulb was invented, the rollercoaster of a ride Richard Branson constantly goes through, the losses before profit was even seen with Amazon and Google, the world famous motivational speakers who never had anyone show up to their talks when they first began.
This pattern had to stop, the ego had to stop, it was time to take the antidote to this syndrome.
The antidote was simply I am unique and I am enough and I no longer need to compete. I began meditating on these thoughts and, as expected, the shifts started to occur. I trusted in the process, I focused on gratitude and on all the wins and all the learning curves that came my way. I continued with my role with the same fire and determination, and now the only person I am comparing myself with is… myself yesterday.