It is a challenging and painful situation when someone close to us dies. We may have a range of feelings from “Why me,” “Why now,” “This isn’t fair,” “I Can’t deal with this”. They are all normal feelings. There is no right or wrong way to feel when a loved one dies. Remember that emotions are ok, and there are no right or wrong feelings. Feelings are feelings, and we need to feel and experience them.
There are some things that you can do to make the feelings less painful and more bearable. Give them a try and see if they can help you.
1) Allow Yourself to Feel the Feelings
This may not make sense since all you want to do is NOT feel the painful feelings you are feeling. But you need to feel and experience them to process them and to move on slowly. Sit in a quiet place and think about the person who died. Think about all the good times you had and how special that person is to you. Take in the feelings. Experience them and let them go.
2) Let Yourself Cry
Crying is ok. It is a healthy and healing way to grieve. It lets the whole range of feelings come out. Scream if you have to. Pound a pillow. Let the tears flow out. It would be best if you processed these feelings in a good and healthy way, and crying will do that for you.
3) Make a Memory Box
Collect unique things that remind you about the person who dies. It could be cards or pictures. It could be a hairbrush or some cherished item. You can draw some pictures that represent the loved ones who died. You can paint a picture. You could have some unique jewelry or object that the person had or that you gave them. Make the box something special that you can come back to time and time again to remember the person in a good and healthy way.
4) Talk to Others
Don’t hold your feelings inside. Talk to friends and other loved ones. Please talk about the person and what they meant to you. Be honest about your feelings. Remember that there are no wrong feelings. Feelings are feelings. You can even talk to a counselor to help you process your feelings if you’re having a hard time with them. It’s ok and not shameful to see a counselor if you need to see one.
5) Read Some Inspirational Poetry
Read some poetry about positive death and dying. Read uplifting poetry that makes you feel good. There I a lot out there. Take your time finding ones that fit you and your situation. Choose poetry that makes you feel good inside.
There is no right or wrong way to deal with the death of a loved one. It would help if you did what makes you feel the best, enabling you to process your thoughts and feelings. Let it out and feel the healing!