What does it matter if you lose your soul in the process?
She quietly exited his life. She realized the damaged it had caused staying as long as she did. And even after it was done, he still lingered in her mind. As much as she wanted to hate him, she couldn’t. But she knew that she had to erase him from her life. Holding on, even a little bit, was slowly killing her.
It was time for her to be brave. As much as she could, she removed every possible trace of him. He was no longer going to control her mind. She may stumble over a thought or so of him, but this time it was different… She knew better.
She wanted to believe that he was good. However that goodness was superficial and came from a foundation of selfishness. The good that existed in him was only to maintain an image.
He so deeply wanted to be liked. He would do anything to continue to keep the title of the good guy. He knew that she had the power destroy that title that he so desperately clung to.
He threw a few nice phrases her way in hopes that he would not fall from grace. Although she knew she could destroy him. She knew she would not. Though she would have to deal with the permanent damage he caused, she would not wish that pain on anyone… Not even him.
For she knew that she made choices that allowed him to hurt her. She knew that when it came to him, she did not protect her heart. Though the damage was done, she knew that she was not done. But she was done with him. He could keep the world and continuously fight for mere man’s approval.
For her mind was renewed by something bigger than her. Bigger than him… Bigger than this life… “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul?”
What he did or did not do, no longer mattered. What mattered is what she was going to do.
She was going to admit that his sin was no worse than hers. And she did…
She was not going to lose her soul. She was going to allow God to fulfill her soul. She was going to make herself accountable before God. She was going to allow the God who was with her all along to use her life for things that she knew she could not even foresee yet.
She quietly exited his life… She did not want to squander the chance of a new life. A better life… A life awaiting an eternity of paradise…
Originally published at medium.com