Do you ever wonder why some things just never seem to work out for you? 

Whether it is your bad luck with relationships, your constant struggle to get ahead financially, or not being able to get ahead in your career; you may be surprised to learn that you have a lot more to do with this than you may think.

When things don’t go right, most people tend to look outside of themselves for the reasons why; or they look for someone or something to blame.

Stephen Covey, the author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People said, “Whenever you think the problem is out there; that very thought is the problem”.

This doesn’t mean that you are not qualified, capable, or good enough. This simply means that you are not taking ownership and responsibility for yourself.

It is much easier to deflect or deny one’s responsibility than to look inward and ask yourself the tough questions.

Dominant Thoughts

Are you aware of how you talk to yourself… and to others?

Taking ownership and responsibility is very important. But you must also be aware of “how” you talk to yourself and to others.

It is very important to remember that we always move toward our current dominant thoughts.  Let me share a few examples.

  • If you always worry about, or think about being overweight (“I need to lose twenty pounds!“), chances are you will remain overweight.
  • If you always worry about not having enough money (“I don’t know how I am going to pay my bills!”), chances are, you will never have enough.
  • If you believe that you always meet the wrong type of men/women (“Why is it that all the men/women I meet are such jerks and losers?”), chances are you will never meet the right one.
  • If you believe you can’t accomplish your goals (“I hate math, I will never pass this course!”), chances are you never will.

I could go on and on with examples.

Simple comments like the ones above are very common. Most of us never pause to reflect on how we talk or think to ourselves, or how we talk to others.

So it is no wonder that we find ourselves not living the lives that we desire.

Awareness is just the first step.

The next step is programming yourself to paint positive pictures of what you want; and of who you would like to be. 

Then, you must practice talking to yourself and others in a positive way. 

Here are some alternatives to the examples above:

* “I am a lean, fit, healthy, (state your ideal weight) pounds.”

* “I earn $xxx,xxx.xx dollars every year.” 

* “I have a wonderful, kind, caring and loving partner; and we are very happy together.”

* “I am excited about my math class, and I get better and better at it every day.”

The human mind is very much like your computer. What you put in it (or how you program it) is what you will get out of it.  

We are automatically programmed to move toward our current dominant thoughts.

So the sooner you take ownership and responsibility for how you talk to yourself, the better off you will be.

Remember… Every day is a gift, and the quality of your life is your gift to yourself.

Author(s)

  • Barry Gottlieb

    Author - Speaker - Success Mentor - Trusted Advisor

    Barry is sought after by organizations of all sizes to assist them in the following areas: *Leadership - *Strategy - *Execution - *Company Culture - *Time Management - *Emotional Intelligence. As the Founder and President of Coaching the Winner's Edge, Barry has built a successful practice offering counsel and guidance to both private individuals and corporations. In addition, Barry is a successful author and speaker. His books are: "TGIT-Thank God It’s Today". - "Every Day Is A Gift". - "Brilliant on the Basics...a Playbook for Business Leaders". Barry started out his career as an educator... First a school teacher and  Principal; and then as an instructor at Santa Fe Community College, and the University of Florida. During his time at the university, Barry experienced a life altering challenge. He was diagnosed with terminal cancer and was given just 3 to 6 months to live. His story of recovery and the paradigm shift that it created in his life was the inspiration for his first book, "TGIT - Thank God It’s Today". Shortly thereafter, Barry decided to make a career and life style change and left teaching to enter the world of business. This he says, “Is where my real education began.” He and his partners built a very successful $75 million international company from the ground up, that they later sold for $55M. Barry shares the the wisdom and insights of building a very successful company... and culture, in his latest book: "Brilliant On the Basics... A Playbook for Business Leaders". Barry's Mission: To inspire and empower others to reach their full potential.