Have you ever struggled with feeling stuck in life?
You know, like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day – waking up every day to a life you don’t really enjoy, but don’t have the first freakin’ clue how to fix it. (If you don’t get the reference, Google it!)
Well, statistically speaking, most of you reading this know EXACTLY what I’m talking about.
Recent research shows that about 70% of people have felt or do feel “stuck” in their lives or careers, and that only 3 out of 10 people classified themselves as being “happy.”
That’s pretty damn depressing if you ask me!
So, since we know that most people can resonate with feeling stuck in life, let’s talk about what to do when you feel that way.
Why you feel stuck
Before we dive into how to get unstuck in your life and/or career, let’s chat about why you’re feeling that way.
The truth is, no matter what area of life it’s in, if you’re feeling stuck, you’re out of alignment.
What does that mean? Let me explain.
When you think about a vehicle, in order for things to run smoothly, it has to be aligned correctly.
Meaning that, the suspension system has to properly align the body to the wheels and tires. If it doesn’t, things can go haywire real quickly.
In life, it works the exact same way.
Whether you consider yourself a spiritual or faith-based person or not, we all have our own internal suspension system.
That little voice inside of us that lets us know that we’re out of alignment and need adjustment so we can start running smoothly.
This is why you hear people talk about your “calling” or “purpose.” When you’re feeling stuck, that’s your inner voice’s way of saying “Hey! We’re out of alignment with our purpose in here, and we need to get a tune up.”
So, car analogy aside, the reason you’re feeling stuck in life, is because you’re not living the life you’re meant to be living.
Now, let’s dive into what to do about it.
How to get unstuck
Now that we know that being out of alignment with your calling or purpose is the reason you may be feeling stuck in life, let’s look at a few ways to go about getting unstuck.
If you’ve been around here for any period of time, you’ve heard me harp on the importance of clarity.
I believe it’s the foundation of creating your dream life. I mean, how the hell can you create a dream life, if you don’t even know what that dream life looks like?
Food for thought…
So, if you’re feeling stuck in life, you need to get clarity. And in particular, you need to get clear on 2 things: 1. Who you are; 2. What you want.
(If you’re serious about getting the clarity you need to get unstuck in life, I’ve created an awesome tool for you. Click here to download my Ultimate Clarity Guide.)
Let’s look at each of these real quick.
Who you are?
If I were to ask you the question, “who are you?” what would you say?
Most people, when asked that question, respond with demographic type of information.
They may tell you their name, age, or even profession.
But, how is any of that information relevant to you creating your dream life?
SPOILER ALERT… IT’S NOT!
In order to get unstuck and create your dream life, you’ve gotta know who you are from a value perspective.
Like, what are the most important things that make you who you are?
Is it your honesty? Love for others? Compassion or empathy?
What are those key elements that make you who you are?
If you can’t answer this, you can’t possibly get clarity on the second question, which is:
What do you want?
Once you know who you are, on a value level, the next thing you need to get clear on, is what you want.
I firmly believe that not getting clarity on, and owning the answer to (more on this in a minute), this question, is the biggest reason why only 3 out of every 10 people are happy.
I’ve talked before about the importance of creating and pursuing your own definition of success for your life.
The people who are unhappy, are those who don’t know what the hell they want, because they’ve never created that definition of success for themselves.
And because they’ve never done so, they’re pursuing someone else’s definition of success.
Talk about a recipe for a miserable, out of alignment life!
I don’t know if you know this or not, but you are freakin’ unique! Like special unique. There’s only 1 of you on this planet.
So, why would you think that your definition of success should be some canned version of someone else’s?
I know what you’re thinking, and you’re right – IT SHOULDN’T!
Yet most people’s are. Hence the reason so few people are happy.
So, get clear on what you actually want in your life.
Is it time freedom? Financial or material wealth? A happy, healthy family?
Whatever it is, get clear on it, then spend your life pursuing those things.
Own your truth
Going back to what I said above, it’s one thing to get clarity on who you are and what you want, but another thing completely to own those truths and live them out.
Like I said, very few people ever give themselves the chance to create their dream lives, because they don’t take the time to get clarity.
But, of those who do, a large percentage still don’t create their dream lives, because they don’t own the answers to those questions.
They compromise on or water down who they are and what they want to satisfy others or out of fear of judgment.
Now, to be clear, I’m not saying that it’s not okay to make some sacrifices.
It absolutely is. And to be completely honest, we all need to make some changes for the better, regardless of who we are. (We all have some selfish asshole tendencies!)
But, there’s a difference between being willing to compromise or upgrade minor parts of who you are for the betterment of your life and others, and trying to do a complete overhaul to appease others or out of fear of judgment.
A great example of what I mean by this is people being unwilling to admit that they desire financial abundance and wealth in their lives.
People fear the perception or stigma, that if they value wealth, then people are going to think they’re sleezy or greedy. So, they settle for financial mediocrity, rather than trying to create that life of financial abundance.
Another example is diminishing or completely sacrificing your dreams for others.
I see this so much with people who are married. Because they’re fearful of potential negative effects on their relationship, they give up on their dreams.
Regardless of what it looks like for you, if you’re denying yourself some fundamental aspect of who you are or what you want in your life, you’re out of alignment and will find yourself stuck.
That’s why it’s so important to get the clarity, and then create the life you ACTUALLY WANT based on the answers you come up with.
Otherwise, you end up with a life of unhappiness and resentment.
Ask your best self
When it comes to getting unstuck, our natural tendency is to look for the answer outside of ourselves.
It’s almost like we have this belief that if we knew the answer, then we wouldn’t be stuck. Therefore, we must not have the answer.
Well, that’s true and not true.
It is true that the current version of you, the one that’s feeling stuck and frustrated, doesn’t have the answer.
However, the “best self” version of you, that one that slays issues like this for breakfast, he or she does have the answer.
You see, the reality is, you have all the knowledge you need to get yourself unstuck.
But, you’ve been conditioned throughout your life to believe that you don’t. That you’ve gotta depend on others to get the answers.
But, that’s just simply not true.
Just like you can’t have a desire without already possessing the gifts, talents, knowledge, skill, etc. to make that desire a reality, you can’t feel “stuck” without already knowing the answer within.
So, the next time you feel stuck, have a chat with your best, kickass self.
And ask, “what would he or she do in this situation?”
And remember, life is about continuous growth. You’ll never reach a point where you’ve arrived at being that best self if you’ve got a growth mindset.
Therefore, you can always tap into this hidden weapon of calling on your best self for advice when you’re feeling stuck.
Putting it all together
Here’s the deal, feeling stuck sucks!
I know that feeling all too well.
But, just remember this, that stuck feeling is actually a great thing, because that means that you’re aware of the fact that you’re not where you’re supposed to be.
So, honor it. Be grateful for feeling stuck, knowing that it means there’s something so much bigger and better out there for you.
Then, do the hard work of getting the clarity we talked about earlier. Like I said, just by doing that, you already set yourself up to create an amazing life, because most people are unwilling to get that clarity.
Once you get the clarity, take conscious, consistent, massive action in the direction of your best life.
If you do that, not only will you get unstuck, but you’ll create a life that you wake up excited to live!
So go get it!
P.S. If you’re an ambitious person who’s feeling stuck, and are ready to not only get unstuck, but start creating that dream life and career, then I’d love to have a chat to see how I can help. You can click here to schedule a consultation call where we can chat about your goals and whether we’re a good match.