You got goals and dreams?
Who am I kidding, of course you do! And if you’re crazy enough to hang out around here with me, I’m willing to bet they’re pretty damn big!
And you know what, from one dreamer to another, I love and support you for that. I want to see you win and accomplish all that you desire for your life.
But, the sad truth is, not everyone feels that way.
In reality, there are actually very few people who will 100% fully support you in your pursuit of those big goals and dreams that you have.
So… that brings up the question, what do you do when that happens? What do you do, when others don’t support your goals and dreams?
That’s what I want to chat about. To learn more, keep reading.
Why others don’t support your goals and dreams
Before we jump into what to do when others don’t support your goals and dreams, let’s focus for a second on WHY they may not be supportive.
Here are 3 reasons why people may not be supportive of your goals and dreams:
They are just trying to protect you
Whenever people are unsupportive of our goals and dreams, especially those closest to us, it’s often because they are just trying to protect us.
The reality is, very few people can honestly raise their hands and say that they are pursuing their own goals and dreams.
Most people are going the “safe” route in life. And because of that, they associate going after something bigger and better with danger.
They might be thinking that you’re setting yourself up for failure and struggle if you go after your goals and dreams, and they want to protect you from that, so they make it known that they’re not supportive.
So, as misguided as it is, a big reason a lot of people may not support your goals and dreams is because they love and care about you enough to not want to see you struggle.
It makes them feel bad about themselves
**WARNING** hard truth that’ll ruffle some feathers comin’ right up!
A big reason why some people won’t support your goals and dreams is because they’re jealous!
Yup, I said it! And it’s true.
Going back to what I just said, MOST people aren’t chasing their own goals and dreams, so when someone comes along who is, it makes them feel bad about themselves.
It shines a bright light on their fear and inability to go after their own.
And that causes them to be unsupportive and, sometimes, they may even try to talk you out of it or sabotage your success.
We’ve all seen the person who, when someone else accomplishes something great, has something negative to say. They try to downplay other’s wins.
Sadly, that’s their own insecurities and regret rearing their ugly heads.
They don’t fully understand
In life, communication is key!
Some of the time, a lack of support for your goals and dreams may just come down to a lack of understanding.
When we don’t fully understand something, it’s hard for us to get behind wholeheartedly.
And there are really two main things that people may not understand about your goals and dreams that are holding them back from supporting you:
The goals and dreams themselves
Let’s be real for a second – we “dreamers” are kinda crazy! And sometimes the things we come up with in our minds are enough to confuse even us.
So just imagine how confused others may be if they’re not like us.
Sometimes, the reason it may seem like others don’t support your goals and dreams is because they don’t fully understand what they heck they are.
If that’s the case, be willing to take the time to explain your goals and dreams so others have the opportunity to understand and support you.
Why they’re so important to you
On the other hand, sometimes people may understand your goals and dreams, but they may not understand why they’re so important to you.
If they did understand, they may be more likely to get behind you in going after them.
For example, you may have a goal of wanting to be a millionaire. Well… some people may hear that goal and think it’s shallow or greedy to desire monetary or material wealth.
But what they may not know, is that you want to achieve that goal so you can donate to charity or be able to help others in some great way.
Will everyone agree with why you want to achieve your goals and dreams? No, definitely not!
But, I’m willing to bet that if more people knew WHY you want to achieve them, you’d have more support than you might have right now.
What to do when others don’t support your goals and dreams
Now that we know a few reasons why people may not be supporting your goals and dreams, let’s talk about 3 things you can do if that happens.
Look, here’s the deal, no matter how good of a person you are or how much you try to help people understand, there are still going to be a lot of people who don’t support your goals and dreams.
There may even be a lot of them. And you know what, that’s okay!
Because the truth is, you don’t need the support of others to move forward. In fact, if you’re in a place where you are in need of other’s support and approval before you go after your goals and dreams, you’re going to struggle to make them happen.
Sure, it’s perfectly fine to WANT their support. But you should never NEED it.
So, just in case you’re one of those people who aren’t getting the support you’d like, the first thing you should do is show grace to those who don’t support you.
I know… sounds tough right? I mean our natural tendency is to want to get pissed off at those who don’t support us.
The problem with that is that it’s selfish. At least I think so. Regardless of who the person is, and what relationship you have to them, it’s selfish to have the expectation that they, by default, have to support you.
Plus, another reason why showing grace is such a great first step when you’re feeling unsupported is that it protects your energy.
Being pissed off and jaded is an emotionally and mentally draining place to be in. And when you’re in that state for too long, it zaps your energy – energy you need in order to chase your dreams.
So, step one when you’re feeling unsupported is to show grace.
Use it as fuel
Now, just because you show someone grace for a lack of support does not mean that you can’t also use their lack of support as fuel.
Especially if they fall into the jealous hater category we just talked about.
I don’t believe that it should be your primary motivation, but the ability to flip the metaphorical (or literal if that’s how you roll) middle finger to all those who hated on and refused to support you can definitely give you an added boost of inspiration.
Truth is, chasing your goals and dreams takes time and will require perseverance.
So being able to give yourself that added level of motivation during the tough times can definitely serve you well.
Find others who do
The great thing about our society today, is that there’s really no excuse for not having support for your goals and dreams, because there are endless opportunities to connect with other like-minded people.
I’ve coached so many people that a lack of support from their closest friends and family members was a reason they were considering giving up on what it was they wanted to accomplish.
With all of them, I coach them through the first two tips I just mentioned: showing grace and using it as fuel.
But I also coach them through this third thing to do when others don’t support their goals and dreams, which is to go find others who do.
We live in a day and age where we are globally connected. In an instant, we can connect with people from all around the world. It’s freakin’ amazing!
And because of that, even considering giving up on your goals and dreams because of a lack of support is really a lame excuse.
If you don’t have support from those in your immediate circle, then expand your circle and bring in people who do support you.
I’ve talked about it before, environment is everything when it comes to success. If we want to be successful, we have to surround ourselves with people who inspire, empower, and hold us accountable to accomplishing the things we desire.
So, if you’re feeling a lack of support, go out and find it.
I promise, your goals and dreams are worth it.