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What to do after a Breakup?

Even if you know a relationship needed to end, it's still incredibly hard to move on.

Nobody, ever, teaches us how to overcome a breakup. We face the spite alone, unarmed, and we tend to sink more instead of recovering.

Women and men write a diary devastated because they don’t know how to act. Because they cannot manage loneliness and mainly because their world crumbles before their eyes. They don’t find tools to continue with their lives in a healthy way, without thinking over and over again about the one they no longer have by their side.

Here are some ideas so that can make this process more bearable. So that you find the positive points after a breakup and so that, in the long run, your heart can be repaired. Even if at first it seems that there is no way out of sorrow.

Be clear why the relationship ended and use this argument to strengthen

If the relationship ended because of infidelity, the ideal is to become aware of the benefits of running away from deception, the clearest way to dry love. Nobody wants to live with someone who hides behind lies. Getting rid of an unfaithful person is the best start to heal the heart!

Discover your potential

Many people miss out on their talents or hobbies because they are immersed in routine and in relationships that make it difficult to start up activities to exploit their passions and their gifts. After a breakup, we have space and time to find these gifts and share them with others. Identifying what we like and to fill our hearts in some cases is not easy.

If you don’t know what makes you happy and gives you satisfaction, we suggest you do an exercise: pick up paper and pencil, and write down the five activities you like the most. Write what allows you to be a better person. Like dancing, going out, taking pictures, reading, studying or maybe enjoying a game of would you rather with your friends. Don’t get carried away by actions that can bring you bad times, such as drinking, smoking or overeating. When you discover a talent, at the same time you identify a gift that has the potential to bring something to others. It can be a virtue that has always lived within you or that you have exercised throughout your life. The best thing about this task is that you can always acquire new talents. 

Don’t waste your time to find out what yours are and to start working on them.

Manage time well

The day has the same hours for everyone, but to some, it renders more than others. This depends on our ability to manage time effectively.

A good management of the day can save us that time we devote to revive the spite and can prevent loneliness from billing us bad times. Here I have six tips for managing your time:

  1. Plan what you will do ahead of time, hour by hour.
  2. Eliminate distractions and, when they appear, have something that you are most interested in: reading, meditation, and a call to someone who makes you feel good … This will make your free time more productive.
  3. Set priorities in your tasks.
  4. Set schedules to see the email or answer WhatsApp messages. Allow a limited time to social networks.
  5. Do the most difficult tasks first.
  6. Recover the relationship with your body. Take time every day for climbing stairs, walking, going jogging or joining a dance class can be great catalysts of well-being. The results will take you from the inside out.


Put your real social network to work in your favor

Real social networks are what make your life more enjoyable and fun every day. These networks are armed by ties that they have built throughout their lives. The social network of a person is not on Twitter, but outside of virtuality, in family and friends. All the people who are united to you by affection and with those who share their heart are crucial so that they are well accompanied at this time. If you have not talked to a friend in a special place for many years, now is the time to get your phone back!


Put your BHH to work

This is the last advice and, undoubtedly, the most important one. The BHH of which we speak as a counselor of the heart is the following: body, head, and heart.

A body activated on a daily basis will allow you to feel comfortable in it. To release serotonin (the hormone that produces calm after physical activity), dopamine (the pleasure hormone) and endorphins (the so-called neurotransmitters of happiness).

In third place is the heart, which gives us more work. A healthy heart stays that way because it is calm, satisfied and because it fulfills a gift of affection for you and others. Aligning your BHH is a task that will take time. But will allow you to optimize your resources in favor of a full life. Full of new hobbies, time for your family, for your friends and, most especially, time for yourself.

We hope that, by implementing these instructions, you will see that you are in a divine moment to recover and re-trust yourself after this painful breakup.

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- MARCUS AURELIUS

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