Community//

What Self-Love Isn’t.

Self-Love is not vain.

Dear Me, I love you. Love, Me

I’m really fired up, and I’m sitting here shaking my head. My heart is so heavy.

I landed on the www.thesaurus.com page for “self-love” this morning. I was looking for another term for “self-care” because I feel like “self-care” has become a bit of a buzzword as of late, but that’s another post for another day. Anyway, thesaurus.com describes “self-love” as a noun meaning “egotism” with the first four synonyms being: “conceit”, “narcissism”, “vainglory” and “vanity”. I’m appalled. I’m ashamed. I’m disappointed.

{Oh, and if you’re curious as to what the definition of “egotism” is, it’s “the practice of talking and thinking about oneself excessively because of an undue sense of self-importance.” Gag me.}

Why is it considered conceited, narcissistic and vain to love oneself? I honestly don’t get it. Why is it more favorable to hate who we are, put ourselves down and keep ourselves small when we NEED TO BE PROUD OF WHO WE ARE in order to make the kind of impact we are meant to make.

Do you know how many years I spent hating who I was? Do you know how many years I considered myself to be “not good enough”? Do you know how much work it took for me to get myself out of that loop? A really long time, friends. A. REALLY. long. time. We’re talking, like, 25-effing-years, you guys. And now that I’m free from that self-loathing loop, yeah, I think I’m pretty dang awesome.

When I look up the definition of “love”, it’s defined as “a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection toward others.” Yup- toward OTHERS. The synonyms for “love”? “Adoration”, “very strong liking”, “appreciation”, “devotion”, “fondness”… I could go on and on. Why is it wrong for me to appreciate and have a “very strong liking” to who I am? And how the heck can I be expected to truly love others if I don’t love myself?

My dear friends, it is not wrong for you to love who you are. IT👏🏻IS👏🏻NOT👏🏻VAIN. And frankly, I think it should be a life REQUIREMENT. When you see a woman who is sure of herself and her capabilities and owns it, please stop with the “who does she think she is?” comments. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US is the freaking bomb.com and the sooner we recognize this, the better the world will be.

Do not dull your light for anyone. Love the sh*t out of your light. You are incredible. You are amazing. You can do whatever you want and no one can tell you any different.

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.