Me and my boyfriend used to argue a lot. People around us felt pissed off with our fights even though they were sure we were madly in love. So, did we. We even split up for few years but got back together as we couldn’t live without each other. Things have changed, we changed, grew up and we managed to create loving and fulfilling marriage. How was that possible? People often ask us what’s the secret to our relationship, so let me share this with you.
Few years ago, we heard about a Marriage Code of Honour from the man by the name of Blair Singer. During one of his seminars, he shared with us that him and his wife created such a code of honour a long time ago and that is a foundation of their marriage. We loved the idea and decided to create one for our marriage. We got married in August and our code of honour was created in November that very same year, that was 7 years ago.
Here is our MARRIAGE CODE OF HONOUR:
1. We are together forever, there’s no exit strategy. This is a big one, the word “forever” sounds like only in the movies, and how can you say forever as you never know…but…if you are in a relationship with “that is forever” in your mind, there is completely different dynamics of that relationship, the behaviour is different, you just know that if there is no exit strategy, you need to do anything to make this relationship work
2. We are BOTH fully responsible for how this relationship work, we can create it the way we want to, if it’s not working – we made it that way
3. We never go to bed in the middle of argument; it’s sorted before we fall asleep
4. We never say bad things about each other to other people, anything related to us and our relationship we sort out between ourselves
5. We create our own rituals (like the way we answer the phone, we greet each other or our little dance)
6. We have a date once a month and quality time once a week
7. When we are apart – we are in touch every day
8. We say that we love each other every day and have a good night kiss
9. We trust each other, we know each other’s values and together we created values for our marriage
10. We are each other’s best friends, we love each other’s company and spending time together, we learn and grow together, we coach each other and hold each other accountable
11. We communicate – COMMUNICATION is key, it’s not about who is right but what’s right for the marriage
12. We believe that LOVE is not a noun (something that is or isn’t) but a VERB – when we love someone we DO certain things, we ACT and TREAT the other person in a certain way that they FEEL loved
13. We believe that we treat people how we see them – we see each other as Perfect, Wonderful and THE BEST Husband and Wife and we say that out loud all the time
So, what resonates with you here? What triggered you, what shocked you? What you don’t agree with? Create your own code of honour for your relationship, you and your partner will get closer together just by doing so. Enjoy the process, it’ll be a game changer for you.