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What’s Driving Your Behavior Your Shoulds or Your Inspiration?

Your "Shoulds" Deplete You. Your Inspiration Replenishes You!

Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

I promise this is not a paid testimonial. Barb Patterson is a colleague and good friend. She is also a brilliant coach and a genius when it comes to business development. I love working with her in our Masterminds for Solopreneurs, and a few weeks ago, I got the personal benefit of participating in a Business Accelerator with her. It was a beta test, and Barb knocked it out of the park. I learned from her and all of the other participants. What the group did was help me get perspective on my business. I hadn’t realized I had been so caught up in running my business that I had not given myself time to go to the hundred thousand foot level and work on it.

This was especially fun to do in a group setting. I find it hard to have perspective on what my strengths are and to see where it is truly leveraged to place my energy. This is a learning curve for me. I am good at working hard. When I get scared, I compensate with hard work. When I feel insecure, I overdo it. This tendency has me push through and work harder rather than step back and take inventory.

I am better now than in the past. I recognize sooner when I am pushing and take my foot off the gas. I have a significantly better work-life balance than I did previously, but with my business expanding this was being encroached on. I can’t seem to catch up on my emails. I’m not spending as much time with friends and family as I would like. I haven’t read a novel in ages. I am doing what I love, but there can be too much of a good thing.

The three days with the group gave me the opportunity to let go of my attachments and “go back to zero”, a phrase used by Lila Turner that we have now coined in our Mastermind, and see what I really wanted to create. I wasn’t surprised at what came forward, but I was surprised at how easy and clear it was to see my next steps.

I realized I couldn’t keep doing everything I was doing. I was ready for reinvention with my work. When I gave myself permission to follow my inspiration, I felt a weight being lifted. I hadn’t noticed how much of the “should” was still at play inside of me. How I thought I should be. What I should do. What needed to happen? What I needed to do to be okay. Standing in the place of knowing that my okay-ness comes from within and is a given independent of my circumstances, feeling that in the moment, helped me to move from my “should” to my inspiration.

From there it was clear. I needed more space. I wanted more time for myself and more time for my family. That was what was in my heart. From there it was easy to see what I needed to do. I am taking July an August off. I am closing my therapy practice at the end of June. In addition to launching the six-month Soul-Centered Series, and writing, I will be working with a handful of six-month coaching clients, and with the help of the accelerator group, I came up with a really awesome yearlong apprenticeship program that feels very exciting.

I felt the freedom of letting go of my limits and personal restrictions. This is what I do for my clients all day long. It is so easy to see the potential in another person. It feels good to look through the eyes of love and recognize the magnificence of another. The group supported me in doing this for myself. This made it easy to step into the unknown and open to what wants to come through me.

What is your opportunity when it comes to seeing yourself more clearly and letting go of limitations? Do you have “shoulds” that are constricting your vision for yourself? Are you being driven by hard work and effort? Are you willing to take time to step back and allow yourself to reconnect with your inspiration so you can live more fully into your potential?

Your magnificence is innate. How do you want to share it with the world? What feels good to you? If you know you are 100% okay and connected with infinite potential, how do you want to express yourself into the world? As Howard Thurman said, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Are you open to allowing your inspiration to call your forward rather than pushing yourself to succeed? What happens when you step out of the way and relax so your true nature has more room to come through?

Rohini Ross is passionate about helping people wake up to their true nature. She is a psychotherapist, a transformative coach, and author of Marriage (The Soul-Centered Series Book 1). She has an international coaching practice helping individuals, couples, and professionals embrace all of who they are so they can experience greater levels of well-being, resiliency, and success. You can follow Rohini on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, watch her Vlogs with her husband, Angus Ross, and subscribe to her weekly blog on her website, www.rohiniross.com

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