Narcissists use all of their energy to control and manipulate their surroundings so that they can protect their image. There are several things that they are hiding from you, and from everyone. If these things become exposed, they will collapse because they survive off of the narcissistic supply that protecting their image gives them. Here’s what they are hiding from you.
That they actually feel incredibly weak and empty on the inside.
Although they portray to the world that they are confident and fulfilled, they really feel the exact opposite of this. They have this persistent sense of emptiness and unworthiness that they are on a constant quest to relieve themselves of. For the covert narcissist, in particular, you might see them experience depressive episodes- this is because of the absolute lack of self-esteem, loneliness, and emptiness they are perpetually experiencing. All narcissists try to take strength, energy, and fulfillment from others because they feel the opposite without it. Similar to vampires or parasites, they suck the life out of others so that they can survive.
That they have endured traumas.
Most narcissists have endured some sort of childhood trauma that makes them who and what they are as adults. Usually, they are incredibly embarrassed about this having occurred to begin with. They go to great lengths to make it seem as if they are perfect, untouched beings. They believe that if others know about the hardships they’ve endured, somehow that perfect image will be diluted. They may let out just enough information about their past to get supply from people such as pity, attention, or care; however they will never let others know exactly what it is they experienced and how that affected them.
That they don’t trust anyone.
They seem to have all of these close friends, relationships, and a wonderful community surrounding them; however, they do not and will not trust a single soul – including you. This is often why the smear campaign occurs much earlier than the discard stage of the relationship. Narcissists believe that at some point they will be abandoned so they do everything they can to get out in front of this.
That their mind just does not rest.
Because they are constantly trying to control everyone and everything around them, their mind just does not rest. They are constantly anxious about becoming exposed and never feel at peace. Because they don’t have a true sense of self-esteem, they never feel good and are constantly trying to figure out ways to feel better. They are constantly in their heads thinking about how to change and manipulate everything around them so that they protect their image and themselves from collapse.
That they are jealous and envious of pretty much everyone.
Narcissists are pretty much jealous and envious of anyone that has something that they want or that they do not already have. This could consist of peace, happiness, love, a romantic partner, a better job, a nice home. Narcissists live in a world of scarcity. They do not live in the world of abundance. They are constantly afraid of losing what they have or not gaining what they want and so they deeply envy everyone around them that in some way, shape, or form comes across as having more or having things that are better than what the narcissist has themselves.
That they are terribly afraid of abandonment.
Although this may not always seem believable, narcissists are way more afraid of you leaving them than they are of mostly anything else. If they are abandoned, it cements the belief that they already have about themselves being unlovable, worthless, and weak. This is their worst fear. The relationship they have with you helps them survive through the narcissistic supply they gain from the relationship. If they lose this, they will feel incredible pain and discomfort as they try to navigate the hit their ego took in addition to finding new supply to soothe them.