We don’t often think about who will be there to cushion our fall(s), until, that is, we do fall. The harder we fall, the more cushions we seem to need.
It’s not until we do fall, that we really start to see clearly, who is there for us, to support us. and equally, who we are a cushion for also.
Have you ever wanted support from someone, to find that when you do fall, they are no where to be seen? It hurts doesn’t it, and rightly so.
But what if your expectations from others are too high for this fall?
What if your demands for extra cushions is just not realistic?
Here is your magic five reasons that you should expect a cushion person, each and every time that you fall.
- 1 – Your fall has caused you to feel an array of downward emotions such as sorrow and/or guilt.
- 2 – You have known your cushion person more than six months.
- 3 – You’ve shared things with them that you wouldn’t normally tell others, and vice versa.
- 4 – They are a bigg-ish part of your life now.
- 5 – You both have an unspoken rule that you’ll be there for one another. It’s a given.
If you have answered a ‘yes’ to all of the above, then you should expect some cushioning from them when you fall.
The problem lies when we do fall. We are so hurt, like a bird with a broken wing, we need to rest and be cushioned with love and support.
Everyone’s level of support is different. This is because everyone has different needs of support.
You may need lots of support, where as someone else may need little, and so their little need for support, is often their image of what support they need to give others also.
I have created a great tool to monitor your support needs, called ‘Around the Clock’
From the book ‘The secret Guide A-Z self-help’.
With this tool, you can see how your support levels differ to others.
The main thing is, that the support you do receive, is received with gratitude, and don’t rely on just one source for your support, because that put s a great strain on the person supporting you.
You are also your greatest support cushion. Yes, you can cushion your blow with lots of TLC, and speaking an internal calming dialogue with yourself, such as;
“I know you’re in pain now but you can get through this”.
I’m sure you’ve learnt a lot about your friends and family, when they either cushion your blows, or do not. You can meet them in the middle with your needs, by lowering your expectations to the ones that support you less, then you will feel more peaceful about their support, or lack of. Just say to yourself;
“I have less expectations about ‘Miss Flower’ now, as she has shown little support.
What you chose to do when you get back up from your fall, is up to you, but you will see more clearly, that the ones that did cushion you the most are the ones that win your heart each and every time.
Cherish those cushions that support you, as you would your own cushion too.
Sending you love and cushion hugs to your soul.