From a systematic point of view, people feel educated and comfortable behavior in the final analysis is to show an attitude of paying attention to each other, respecting each other, being brave to assume responsibility, and hoping to make the other person happy.
In addition, as Fat Cat said, it would undoubtedly be better if you do not take credit, ask for credit, or imply the other party’s return while doing this kind of behavior. Going one step further and taking the initiative to step down the other side means that what you do for the other side is not particularly time-consuming or easy to do. You take the initiative to relieve the other side’s psychological pressure, which will undoubtedly make the other side more comfortable.
In this way, people with high EQ will naturally understand and be more grateful. People with low EQ don’t understand, but even if you give him this kind of person, he won’t be grateful.
From the above mentioned paying attention to each other, respecting each other, and hoping to make each other happy, it can be reflected in the following details:
- Follow each other
It probably includes paying attention to the other person’s preferences, what they are saying, and what they worry about.
①Follow the other person’s preferences
A simple example is when you eat with each other, remember the other person’s general taste (for example, whether you like spicy, heavy or light, which national cuisine you prefer, meat or vegetarian), if you can be more specific to which restaurant Which dish is better.
Next time if everyone goes out to eat together, if no one orders what the other person likes, and the other person is embarrassed, help each other to order, you can get a huge bonus.
②Pay attention to what the other party said
Basically, it is to remember some points of the other party’s conversation so that they will appear more in your next conversation.
③Follow the troubles the other party said
This is not to say that we must help him solve it. After all, most people just find a topic or complain about it when they say it.
For girls, it is generally necessary to express more emotional resonance.
For boys, give more rational analysis and suggestions, but don’t seem to be instructing him on how to do it.
If it’s just a general acquaintance, when you meet next time, ask a little bit “How did you go with that last time, is there anything I can help?”, one is to find a topic, the other is to let the other person know that you have Listening to him carefully and willing to help is a big plus.
- Respect each other
Young people who have just entered university or even just entered society often have a misunderstanding, that is, as the saying goes, “All the world is my mother.” But in fact, if there is no interest relationship, there are not so many obligations between two independent social people. One of the main points that make people feel mature is to make the other person feel that you respect him, including his feelings and opinions. , His habits, his time, his belongings, his money, etc., especially acknowledging that the other’s time, belongings, money, and especially the help provided by the other party is valuable:
①Respect his feelings, even if that feeling is stupid in your opinion:
If you study psychology a little bit, you will know that people’s feelings, even if they look stupid, are natural and meaningful.
For example, why should we be afraid? Because I am not afraid that everyone will be eaten by tigers and lions. Although from your point of view, the other person’s feelings and thoughts may be stupid, but if they are not so good that they are inconsistent, the sentence beginning with “I can understand you…” and “I understand” will be better than “you.” Why do you have to think like this: “You are just fine looking for trouble” sentences like this are much more comfortable-you deny the other person’s feelings finvie, in fact, you deny the other person, so you have to be very careful when you say the latter kind of words.
It’s not uncommon to find out what is reasonable from what is reasonable, and it is great to find what is reasonable from what is unreasonable. Sometimes communication is not to distinguish between right and wrong, but to change the relationship between the two.