Wisdom//

What I’ve Learned from My Multicultural Marriage

Learning to be comfortable with differences takes practice.

I met my partner the day I moved to Mozambique, soon after graduating from college. We quickly became friends and soon after went on our first date. It seemed like most people in our community thought our relationship was a bad idea. Multiple people told me interracial relationships are hard and usually don’t work out. “You’re just TOO different.” “Wouldn’t it be easier to be with someone from your own culture?”  Our love prevailed the barrage of concerns, and four years later we’re happily married with a son.

I think most people would agree that marriage is one of the most challenging human experiences. Multicultural or not, marriage has a way of revealing our selfishness and showing us the areas we need to grow in. Being married to someone from another culture has been quite the adventure. There’ve been moments when we’ve completely misunderstood each other. Days when we’ve cried because of immigration complications. Weeks when homesickness took over. I’ve had to fight for my relationship with Manuel which makes it so much stronger!

What I’ve learned from my multicultural marriage is that my life is more full because of our differences NOT more challenging.

 I feel incredibly lucky to be married to my best friend and partner who brings life experiences to our family that I don’t have. We can all learn from people who are different from us. I think we mistakenly assume that cultivating relationships with others who have a different a) race/cultural background b) faith c) socio-economic status is somehow too difficult or challenging.

Learning to be comfortable with differences takes practice. It’s easy to feel threatened by others because of insecurity. Just because my husband believes in parenting a certain way doesn’t mean that my way is wrong or vice versa. I’m learning to approach my insecurities with curiosity rather than putting up walls.

“It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.”
Audre Lorde

Expanding my community has been the most beautiful and empowering experience of my life thus far. I urge others to make an effort to be a part of the lives of people who don’t look like them, act like them, or speak like them.

Follow us on Facebook for all the latest news on how you can keep Thriving.

More from Thrive Global:


The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...

Community//

My Most Shameful Experience Pointed Me Toward Freedom

by Rohini Ross
Community//

Stop Making Fun Of Dating Apps

by Geoff Pilkington
Community//

The #1 Thing All Happily Married Couples Have in Common

by Rachel Clements

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.