Social media is plastered with posts by various thought leaders, encouraging people to stand in, claim, live in, tap into their personal power, but what does that really mean and how does that look in our daily lives? How do you know if you’re standing in yours or not?
Before addressing what it is, let’s discuss what it’s NOT. Personal power is not referring to exerting control over others or situations to get what you want. It doesn’t involve manipulation or force. It is not domination!
Standing in your personal power, means you are living true to what you believe and what is important to you. It means you acknowledge all that you are capable of, and you know and accept who you are – the good, the bad, and the not so pretty.
You live and speak with authenticity and truth. You make choices that feel good to you. It’s being committed to your self-discovery and growth. And with that commitment to self, also comes commitment to setting boundaries and rules to live by that prevent you from giving your power away.
HOW DO I KNOW IF I’M STANDING IN MY POWER?
Here are a few tell-tale signs that you aren’t living in your personal power:
You engage in negative self-talk. When you allow self-limiting beliefs like, “I’m not good enough,” or “I don’t deserve that,” or “I could never do that” to run on repeat like a broken record in your mind.
You make decisions based on fear of judgment. If you are making choices about your career, your partner, your hobbies, your hair color, your clothes, etc., that don’t align with what you truly want inside, because you’re worried about what others would think or say, you are not honoring your truth.
You sabotage your own success! You know you’re powerful but you’re afraid of what would happen if you claim it, so you make yourself small. Fears about things like becoming more successful than your husband or not being capable of providing good service if you increase your clients, keep you stuck where things are predictable and feel safe.
A few real life examples…Do you let your significant other choose where you go to eat every date night? Do you suppress your innovative ideas at work to avoid standing out? Do you cave to your kids’ demands? Do you abandon your own thoughts, feelings, and needs to please others?
Hiding our truth to fit in and be accepted is something we learn at a very young age, when we are told to have good manners and make others happy. We learn to bury our needs and emotions to fit in and avoid making waves, so it’s no wonder we have such a hard time as adults reclaiming our voices.
This programming catches up with us eventually though, because one can only live a life based on the ideals of others and beliefs that don’t feel authentic, for so long before it eats them up inside. That kind of existence can never be truly fulfilling!
SO HOW CAN YOU START RECLAIMING YOUR POWER?
1) Get crystal clear on what you want and who you want to be. All successful change begins with awareness. In order to honor yourself and make choices that feel authentic, you must know what you believe and want. Identify which parts of your life are working for you and feel aligned and which parts don’t. What do you want more of, and what do you need to let go of?
2) Commit to being brutally honest with yourself. None of this will work if you can’t be honest with yourself about your beliefs, wants, and dreams. Facing these things can be hard, because acknowledging change might require that you then take big, scary action to manifest it. Allowing truths to surface that have been buried for a lifetime will send you straight out of your comfort zone. I encourage you to be brave and hold onto the excitement of what’s on the other side.
3) Pause before making decisions! Stop and think before you agree to requests or commit to offering your time. Consider first, whether it’s something you legitimately want to do or whether you’re just agreeing to please someone else. It’s okay to do things for others of course, I’m not suggesting you become a total stubborn ass, but just don’t do it all the time. There is a difference between consciously choosing to help someone or compromising, versus subconsciously and immediately just replying “yes” or “sure” because of old people pleasing programming.
4) Learn how to set better boundaries. Boundaries are key to living authentically! Learn when and how to say “no” and weed out people and situations that require you to show up as someone different. If a relationship requires you to give up your power in order to keep it, it’s not worth having.
5) Understand your self-limiting beliefs. Pay attention to the stories you tell yourself that hold you back from living authentically and start replacing them with new narratives.
Each day, with every decision you make, you are either standing in your power or giving it away. Standing in your personal power may not be easy at first, just like anything new, but it is worth it and you can do it!
Feel like you’re ready to live big and chase your dreams but you need some extra support? Contact me for a free discovery call on how to put these tips into action in your own life!