Ok, lets talk adult bullying. It’s so huge, as is the impact, yet its barely discussed. I want to change all that because I’ve been there. I know the resulting despair. Yet I’m still here, standing taller than ever and I’d love to share my journey with you.
My experience started as a teenager. I’d moved from the Midlands to the North East when I was nine and so my accent was unusual or maybe non-existent. Hence started the little comments about the ‘posh’ girl and the laughter in class, every time I spoke. So I stopped speaking in class and every school report detailed how quiet I was. I hated being the ‘quiet twin’ and it destroyed me inside. Why couldn’t I be more confident like my twin sister? At home, I retreated to the safety of my bedroom. My own space where I could just be me. Don’t get me wrong, I have the most amazing family, yet I still felt alone in this.
Fast forward to being a young adult and my self-confidence was well and truly destroyed. I’d had a great time at University, achieved a Degree in Psychology and made some amazing lifelong friends. Yet my mental health was at rock bottom and that’s where the adult bullies saw a way in. Over the years I had so many negative experiences at work, disappointingly with females in the main. The nasty ‘looks’ as they stared me up and down, the sly comments intended to put me down in front of others. I had a successful career as a qualified Probation Officer but this was hard won. Despite working so hard to achieve my second Degree and professional qualification, I was still referred to by some as just ‘the trainee’. In the workplace, I was the target of criticism, in contrast to my male colleagues. Yet I worked harder than anyone. Add to this, a manipulative so-called friend and it was a recipe for disaster with my mental health.
Three years ago, I made a decision that would change everything. I have an amazing husband, family and great circle of trusted friends. Yet I was totally burnt out and feeling that there must be more to life. So I left my career and re-trained as an upholsterer. I realise now that there had always been a creativity in me, I had just pushed it away. My self-belief had taken such a knocking over the years from bullying, that I barely knew who I really was. This new way of life unleashed such a positivity and confidence in me that I just had to keep going, really embracing life.
I’m now using my personal experience and skills from my career, to support others who’ve felt the same as me. It’s my absolute mission to ensure that no-one ever feels the way I did, from bullying. I offer online mentoring programmes to help those affected, to stand tall again and really believe in themselves. I use my creative skills in my mentoring so that the tools really stand out and help people to remember. I have my Stand Tall Academy with all of my programmes and I encourage people to ‘step into their flamingo self’. We all have that flamingo within us, standing tall and well balanced, with individuality. So my message to you if you’ve been affected by bullying or abuse……stand tall as your amazing self because you’re worth so much more than you think you are. I know, I am that person standing tall now and it feels great.
If you need support, please don’t hesitate to get in touch. Investing in you will be the best thing you will ever do. You can find me here;