This is my response to the article that I wrote about a nightmare bully boss, which was published on thrive global in August this year.
If you haven’t read the original article I wrote about workplace bullying you can do so here https://thriveglobal.com/stories/what-to-do-when-your-boss-is-a-nightmare/
I’ve had a lot of comments around this article and it’s created quite a conversation around the topic of workplace bullying. Marlene Hope wrote a brilliant response to my original article please go here https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-do-when-your-boss-nightmare-response-marlene-marlene-hope/ It allowed me to reflect on how things have changed for me since I wrote this piece as I did write it in 2014 on my original blog.
Since then I did go back to work and was bullied again by a more aggressive type of bully. In fact, I have women come to me who are in similar positions and I wouldn’t keep my head down now. I would tell them to do something about it. I was suffering from depression and anxiety and although I mentioned it to my manager at the time. It fell on deaf ears, so I didn’t bother raising it again. I didn’t have the fight in me to do something, for me restarting my business was my focus so I left it.
The truth is you are meant to feel safe at work so if someone is intimidating you or making you feel uncomfortable it’s not right. You have a right to protect yourself.
Micromanager or bully boss
Sometimes we may have a boss who likes to email us a lot or check up on our progress because they are a control freak. If they do this and it’s not aggressive or rude you will know the difference. A bully boss on the other hand, may make it personal or undermine you in front of others so know the difference.
If you closely see how they interact with you and notice, it’s how they are with everyone chances are they are a micromanager rather then a bully boss so it’s important to be aware of this. I wanted to mention this because there can sometimes be blurred lines around this and it’s important you don’t confuse the two.
Signs of workplace bullying
So, I want to share some signs of workplace bullying because it’s a topic that isn’t always easy to spot and many people believe it can’t happen in the workplace. Surely as adults we should be pass this by now, but some people just continue to bully.
Tips around what you should do
So here I share some tips around what I would do instead and advise others if you think you are being bullied.
Don’t let a work place bullying incident effect your future growth. It’s happened to me twice now and although it was worst the second time, I have learned a lot from it. If you are going through it don’t look back, look forward. Most people who are bullied at work are good at what they do. The bully uses their own insecurities to bring you down it’s what they want. I would advise you look for another job, if the action you take isn’t resolved but don’t be afraid to stand up to them. I wish I had stood up to my bully but psychologically I was not in the right frame of mine to do so.
I have managed to move on from my experience and I want to say a massive thanks to Marlene Hope for helping me to write this. As it’s something I feel we should all be talking about more. I know I wouldn’t tolerate this now and neither would I encourage any of my clients to put up with it. You deserve to feel safe and respected at work.