What I Realized About Depression When Coming Off Medication

This is why depression is a liar and a thief

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres on our open platform. We publish pieces as written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Community stories are not commissioned by our editorial team and must meet our guidelines prior to being published.

In fact, it’s pretty much a gold medalist in the Jerk Olympics. It’s the mayor of Jerkville. You get the picture.

I’ve struggled with depression since I was around 11 years old and, for the most part, it’s been resistant to treatment. I’ve thrown medication at the problem, I’ve gone for therapy, and I’ve even started to explore alternative and integrative options, but that mean ol’ black dog just keeps following me around wherever I go. It is not, in fact, a good boy.

Recently, I started weaning off one of my meds, and the effects have been… noticeable. Let me put it this way: if the black dog has been following me around for the past 20 years, this time the bastard went straight for my throat.

I was at one of the lowest points of my life (and that’s saying something) when a good friend of mine said something that I really needed to hear.

Knowing I’ve been coming off the meds, she said, “Remember, this isn’t you. This is you with a disturbed equilibrium.”

And she was right.

Whether or not the meds have been working for me (they haven’t), they still significantly altered my brain chemistry, and it’s going to take a while for everything to go back to normal.

Here’s the thing about depression: it will do whatever it takes to make you feel bad about yourself, and that includes straight-up lying to you in order to achieve this nefarious goal. It will tell you that you’re a failure and that you’re not good enough because, just like Pennywise the clown in “It,” depression needs these negative thoughts to survive.

Remember the gym teacher? Well, depression is one of the many forms he takes. And the worse we start to feel about ourselves, the bigger, stronger and louder he becomes.

Depression is also a thief, because it robs us of so many moments that should have filled us with joy and excitement. That’s one of the things I find most unforgivable about this insidious disease — the fact that it’s stolen so much time from me, and that it’s tainted so many memories.

But thieves are criminals and, like most criminals, depression is a coward. Once we start calling it on its bullshit, it starts to crawl back into the dank sewer from whence it came.

Remember: depression is just one part of you, and there are other parts — good parts, joyful parts — as well. I think it’s high time they enjoyed some time in the limelight that the black dog has been hogging so shamelessly.

Editor’s note: Please see a doctor before starting or stopping a medication.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

Originally published at

Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...


Yes, You Can Recover from Depression. I Know Because I Did.

by Alexandra Hayes
Photo By: Taylor Kiser

This is How I was able to Fight Depression and Anxiety with Spices…

by Rebecca Ann Price

How I’ve Learned to Temper My Loneliness

by Sara Hicks

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.


We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.