It’s been 23 years 6 months since Mum has gone and I still think about her everyday. I think about her when I’m sad,happy,angry,pissed off,winning,losing,going ahead, stuck at status quo,when I want something from God, when am treated good and bad….the list is endless. Each year at Mother’s Day the pain is acute, of having lost her to cancer at such a young age and I must admit that I feel a pang of envy when I see so many people-in my age group-whose mothers are alive, worse still, if they don’t appreciate the fact that they have their MOTHER with them. A mother who defines your life in so many ways. I learnt so much from my mother and I’ve attempted to share a few of the things.
Unconditional love-My mother loved me unconditionally and it didn’t matter if I failed miserably or succeeded spectacularly. I remember crying before my final exams in university claiming that I was dumb and would definitely fail. My mother didn’t console me and instead chose to motivate me by saying, “even if you fail, it isn’t the end of the world, it’s just a bloody exam”. I was shocked by her attitude of complete acceptance especially since most mothers in India would have ground their children to death if they failed in academics and was a bit astounded at hearing her curse. It just made me secure for life and unafraid to fail.
Pursue your wildest dreams-My mother never scoffed at my dreams. In fact, when I told her that I wanted to be a RJ and a model, she encouraged me to do so.Most other mothers in India, in her circumstances, suffering from cancer and having lost her husband to cancer along with a bulk of her fortune and facing abuse from her other daughter, to give her a share of property, and from a son-in-law for reasons too many to illustrate, would have told me to just get on with a tried and tested path but she didn’t.
Positivity -She always chose to look at life through rose colored spectacles and after she passed, she passed on that outlook to me. Even when she was undergoing chemotherapy she turned around and told me that she was glad that she hadn’t lost as much hair as she thought she would. She would also insist on taking me out to a coffee shop in a plush 5 star hotel to uplift my spirits, despite her having cancer.Wow!
Courage-She was the most courageous woman I ever knew. When a relative swindled her of her money she just refused to be drawn into a legal battle because she felt her life was not going to be defined by the court calendar. Like she said, “it takes more courage to walk away from a street fight and keep your dignity intact”. The fabulous part is that happened after she passed on is that that particular relative’s fortunes have dwindled to almost nothing and their struggles have only intensified since the past two decades. Maybe Karma!Maybe my Mum at work in heaven!
Life is a gamble so roll your dice to come on tops– She always told me that and although for a few years I had forgotten this ,yet now I’m rolling and am sure my mum is helping me coming on tops.
I’m sure by the end of this you can imagine that I was really lucky to have someone like her as my mum and I wish she had lived longer because we’d have had lived life EMPRESSSIZE.
Happy Mother’s Day and keep safe.