After a long day of glum, I finally arrived home for what I expected to be an evening of the same. I had no real reason why I’ve been down. I woke up this way. I’ve prayed about it, tried the mental tricks I have for turning my day around and nothing worked.
I fed my dogs, made my supper and sat down to look at the news on my iPhone. After a few minutes, I closed news and instead of heading over to Instagram, I checked my email.
As most people who know me can attest, I rarely check my email. As I looked through the mostly unimportant stuff I get, there was a newsletter from a life coach I admire, Susan Hyatt. It looked interesting so I opened it up. And the contents changed my day and very probably, the way I will make choices in the future.
In it, Susan writes, “For a calmer, healthier holiday season, here’s a simple thing you can try: throughout the day, ask yourself, ‘What feels like love right now?’ In other words, what choice would feel loving to your body, mind and spirit, rather than hurtful?”
The question bounced around my brain for a bit. I consider myself a pretty thoughtful person, most of the time making decisions after praying about them, then waiting for the answer. I know God loves me unconditionally and only wants the best for me. It’s like He breathed the words into being through Susan.
“What choice would feel loving…?” asked Susan. A few days ago, I made a decision to end a friendship. It was incredibly difficult. I’ve beat myself up over it the past few days. I try to see the best in people, to help them bring out the best in themselves. Letting go of the relationship felt like failure to me.
Today has been tough. I’ve felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. Between the recent shooting in Texas, to my husband currently deployed to Afghanistan, ending the friendship pushed me over my, “I’ve had all I can take,” threshold. I didn’t realize how badly it was affecting me.
When I read that question, I asked myself, what choice would feel loving to my body, mind and spirit right now? Immediately, my mind went to the situation with my friend. I could clearly see, while the decision was hard it was the right thing to do, for everyone involved.
The weight on my shoulders disappeared. I teared up. And I said a prayer of thanks to God for his wisdom, and Susan Hyatt for sharing her ideas with me. The question will stay in my vocabulary. God did what he always does. He gave me exactly what I needed, just when I needed it.
Originally published at medium.com