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What Does Health & Wellbeing Mean?

How to use trauma to make a difference.

Health and Wellbeing.

Hi, I’m new to this, well not blogging but new to Thrive. I love the concept of being able to write till your hearts content on a subject that’s very close to my heart. A subject that’s changed me, my lifestyle. Sounds dramatic doesn’t it? Well it didn’t happen overnight, like a big puff of smoke! It’s been gradual – over the course of 8 years!

I can’t believe it myself, I started on this journey when I was 33 years old. Frustrated from a life time of watching my dad suffer with his health and the affect it had on us as a family and individually, then slowly watching the decline of my mothers health, like a babe calling out for her mother, watching helplessly, powerless as she falls apart.

My dad’s had health issues most of his life and I l mean that literally. His mother died when he was a baby and from then on his family life was not great. He caught typhoid in his teens and lost most of his hair as a result.

I often wonder if all my dads health issues have stemmed from the trauma of losing his mum as a baby, he has always felt abandoned. My dads life has been full of painful moments, and as I write I will share more, you will notice that I write about my dad a lot, that’s because as a child I was a daddy’s girl. If I wanted comfort I would go to my dad.

My mum – as I was growing up, was very much a part of my life, she cooked for me, cleaned me, dressed me, taught me to follow my heart and built my confidence – but that came much later in my life. I did not have much of a relationship with my mother as a child, it was my sister who stepped into those shoes.

I did not understand why my mother was vacant and often felt abandoned myself as a child. Can you see the pattern emerging?

It wasn’t until my 30’s that I truly started to appreciate how tough it was for my mother, raising 3 kids whilst her husband worked 6 days a week, sometimes 7 dependant how much food he needed to put on the table. With no help and support and often being ostracised from the Asian community for being Christian. Yes that did happen, we had no family in this country and so it was down to us. Coupled with my dad’s mental health declining no wonder my mother’s hair started falling out, she could not stomach certain foods anymore, such as fish and eggs. It was horrible to see her this way.

When your parents health starts to decline and you have no family around you to advise and show support, it is pretty much sink or swim time. Fight or flight.. We have sunk many times but education on health and wellbeing, what it means, how I can apply it to my life and teach those around me is an on-going swim! Sometimes the current is against me and sometimes there is no current at all.

It was by random chance I ended up volunteering on a community radio station and decided pretty much straight away that I wanted to do a show that contributed towards reducing the risk of mental health through the medium of health and wellbeing.

Sometimes I pinch myself that I am doing this, and then there are times when I loose momentum. It’s during those times that I ask myself, what does health and wellbeing mean to me?

A way of life, being happy and sometimes.. if I am honest surviving. Surviving the harshness of reality, surviving the slippage of those emotional needs that weren’t met as a child. Surviving another day of guilt of ‘have I abandoned my dad?’ My dad was diagnosed with vascular dementia 3 and half years ago and 4 months ago was taken into full time, permanent care.

So my blogs will cover the things that I have learnt, applied and actually work. I am fascinated with how emotions affect our health, so will be sharing real life stories that make those connections. I am not a scientist but do have access to the latest evidence, we all do, but filtering through the amount of information thrown at us can become a chore, I will be sharing evidence to back up my words.

I am also going to use this blog to process the daily grind of life, yes I am a life coach, yes I am a glass half full and I believe in positivity and those who know me, know I am a happy and smiley person..most of the time! 

 

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- MARCUS AURELIUS

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