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Welcome to my world

Just a glimpse of my crazy mind

Photo Credit: Wallpaper's Craft

There I am, sitting by myself on the couch. Nothing is happening. The tv is on but I’m barely watching my show. My body is there in the living room but my mind and my soul are in a whole different world. They are trying to figure out what to do next in my life. They are bickering against each other about what needs to be done next for my growth. My mind suggests that I should be the next big thing; stand out among the rest and be recognized among the greats. My soul, on the other hand, doesn’t want to be part of that process. It desires something more. It desires character.

Despite these two aspects of me trying to prove each other wrong, there is something that they are forgetting. I have to make the choice in the end. No matter how much they bicker, I will have the final say about the experience that I will have. The funny thing is that I don’t know what to do. I’m just stuck in a loophole not knowing what to do next. So, I sit back in their imaginary world in which they have put me in and assess both of their arguments.

My mind is thinking clearly about my external image; how I’ll present myself before others, my success stories and my impact in this world. As I considered my mind’s suggestion, I could see the flashing lights, the lavish lifestyle, the cars and my unlimited debit cards. It was all glitter and gold. Such an effect the imagery had that I just wished that I could hop in and start living that life. Certainly, my ego was fully satisfied but something was off. I could feel that my decisions were exclusively made by my mind and my heart (where my soul resides) has been completely shut off. There is just this empty feeling in my heart which made me uncomfortable and I just didn’t want to feel that way.

That repulsion put me back to the imaginary world where my mind and my soul are still bickering but it’s different this time. They are barely uttering a word. I notice everything seems to be normal around me but slow to my external environment. I’m puzzled by all this. How did I even do this? It’s all in my head yes? I wanted to be answered badly because it was too much for me to take in. That’s when I remembered that I was supposed to make a decision. I had already seen my mind’s perspective and I didn’t like it completely. It was now time to see my soul’s argument.

My soul’s argument was rather odd. It was nothing I have ever seen or felt in my life. It was all darkness but I could only see myself. I was dazzling in white but there was nothing to radiate the pureness of the color. It was just me and a big empty space. “What are you waiting for? Come on up” said a familiar voice. I couldn’t put my finger on it but I know I’ve heard such a voice before. I look up and I can see a door and behind it was sparkling white light. My heart was beating at an insane rate. It was yearning to open the door but I was hesitant to do so. I didn’t know what to expect behind that door. “Come on in. Don’t be shy” The voice talked once more. Here goes nothing. I open the door and I am blinded by a dazzling white light. Beautiful is the only word that comes to mind when I try to describe that light. “Welcome home,” the voice tells me and the lights becomes brighter.

The next thing I see is my soul and my mind at the same position I found them. It dawns on me that I have to make a choice. I have never been in such a nerve-wrecking situation like this. Asking your crush out to a date got nothing on this. It was down to picking success or enlightenment. Both scenarios are worthy of consideration to any person. However, picking one over another would mean one had to be left out. I didn’t want that. All I ever wanted since I was a kid was to have the ultimate experience while I’m here. That doesn’t really matter in this case because I have three options; success, enlightenment or not decide at all. Not deciding will only postpone the decision that I have to make in the long run. There is no escaping it. I, then, had a wonderful idea. What if there was a fourth option?

Having that idea seemed to have returned everything back to normal speed. How I didn’t miss their bickering. I decided to open my mouth.

Me: Guys!! What if I desire both outcomes?

There was an awkward silence. My soul and my mind decide to set their differences apart and turn their attention to me.

Soul: What do you mean you want both?

Mind: Yeah, what the hell do you mean? You can’t have both.

Me: Uh…yes, I can.

Mind: No, no. You don’t get it. You only get to pick one.

Me: You seem to forget that I’m the one making the decisions here Mind. You have no choice but to respect it.

Mind: You’re lucky you have a point.

Soul: Why do you want both?

Me: Because that’s always been my biggest dream; to live life to the fullest. To experience the highs and lows. To enjoy its luxuries while still getting enlightened as a human being. Besides, it seems you two have forgotten that we are all one and the same. You are all aspects of me and for us to have the best experience, we need to be working together towards the same goal. Yes, I want to be a successful person with a reputable career in this world and yes, I want to feel right at home in my heart and have peace of mind. Is it wrong to experience both for the ultimate experience?

Soul: He has a point. We are all here because we want the same thing. We want you to be the best version of yourself you can ever be.

Mind: That’s right. You really have put this to thought. I’m impressed. Now that we are all in agreement, let’s get straight to work.

Soul: I agree.

Just as I’m opening my eyes from blinking, I find myself back in the living room. Once again, I’m perplexed by all that is happening to me. “It was all a dream. I must have taken a nap while watching tv,” I tell myself. My attention turns to the television but there is nothing to watch. It’s all static. “No, Elvis,” that familiar voice once again pops up. “You’re still in the dream.” That’s when my phone alarm rings and I pop up from my bed. I check the time and it’s 7.30 am. I pinch myself to see if I’m still in an Inception-inspired dream. Nothing happens. I’m back to the real world.

“That was one hell of a dream!” I concluded.

Originally published at theanomalydiary.com

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