It’s easy to believe that what we experience as our “reality” is absolute. A truth. We can see it, hear it and feel it’s physical presence. So, when our life isn’t giving us what we want it’s super easy to divide blame between various outside circumstances, such as the economy (that’s why you can’t leave your soul sucking job and set up your dream business); your children (the school runs and homework rob you of all your free time); your husband (he just doesn’t get you does he? Then wonders why you are always so tetchy!).
However if we consider the statistic that up to 95% of our thoughts are repetitive and 80% of those are negative, could you entertain the concept that you are actually seeking what is showing up in your life? You see, a majority of people will spend their days living “habitually” i.e. they are not conscious of their daily thoughts and actions.
Now if, as Jeff Olson explains in his book, “The Slight Edge”, success is created in the seemingly small and inconsequential, daily actions then equally so, our very own dissatisfaction can be created in the same way.
If then, we decide that it’s time to “change our life” and begin experiencing more of the things we are always saying we want, we must change what we are seeking. Instead of existing in a state of daily, habitual behaviours we must decide to become the creator, the artist of our own life.
How can you do that? It’s all about “pattern interrupting” or breaking the cycle. Let me explain. You have a thought that runs on loop in your head until it becomes a “belief”. Each belief you have has its very own picture stored in your mind. That picture determines your self talk about what you can/can’t/will/won’t do and that in turn creates the actions you will or will not take.
Now you can disrupt this pattern at any or all point/s of the sequence but for now, I want to talk to you about how you can start to change your self talk so that you are seeking out new, positive and growth orientated opportunities.
Step One – have a look at the areas of your life in which you don’t feel fully satisfied and ask yourself, “What beliefs have created and are reinforcing this result?”. As an example your “self talk loop” could be, “I never have enough time/money..” or, “I’m too old/ugly/fat”, or “There are just no jobs around/most new businesses fail” etc.
Step Two – If you were to assume, for the purpose of this exercise, that there are ALWAYS alternatives…you can start to ask yourself more empowering questions. Committing to asking these questions to yourself on a regular basis, will allow your mind to start working FOR you. There is a hugely clever part of your brain that will always actively search to provide you proof of what you are looking for. So if you are always saying, “I have no time” then you will experience more traffic jams, last minute requests at work, queues in shops, computers going slow…you see?
If however, you start to ask questions like, “Why is it true that I have MORE than enough time”, then soon enough you will start to experience new and more powerful evidence to support your question.
Other questions can include:
What would it look like if…..I set up my own business/found my soul mate/was rich?
Why is it possible that I can….earn lots more money/have it all/travel the world?
Who could I reach out to, to help me make this huge, forward step in my life?
Whilst this may sound simplistic (and maybe silly to some), you are now utilising the power of your “self talk” to create a completely different reality. Simply ask the questions and wait. You will start to find new people entering your life; unexpected and amazing opportunities coming your way; resources becoming available and ideas that just “pop” in to your head.
Becoming conscious of your thoughts will begin to have you challenging your behaviours and within that resides a power to transform your life.