“I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.— Leonardo da Vinci
I woke up one morning and these words popped into my head:
YOU DON’T DO ENOUGH OF WHAT YOU KNOW
I know how to meditate, so why am I not meditating?
I should also get to bed earlier, so I don’t have enough sleep.
I know how to do yoga but I don’t do enough of it.
I know what I need to do, why am I not doing it?
I don’t have any excuses, I’m not working. I’m a stay-at-home-twiddling-thumbs-keyboard-warrior-romance-novel-addict….erm human being.
What am I waiting for?
FOR THE VOICES TO BE QUIET??
Let me tell you what some of the voices in my head have been saying:
1st Voice said – “What’s the point? You’ll never get to your pre-IVF body within the next 2 weeks!”
2nd Voice said – “Haven’t your body suffered enough? You’ve injected, injested, incepted, inserted, implanted hormonal goodies into your body. And now you want to further stress your body with hard core workouts?”
Third Voice says – “but’s it’s only yoga.”
1st Voice retorts back – “Bah! If you wanna lose weight. Yoga is not enough. Plus you need to do it everyday. You don’t have the discipline”
3rd voice: “I do. I’m already drinking yucky herbs and swallowing multiple multi-vits and anti-oxidants (when I say multiple, last count was 15!!!!) EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!
2nd Voice: “Aren’t you tired and sick of doing all this?
1st Voice: “You don’t have the time.”
4th Voice: “But is it possible?”
2nd Voce: “Yes!”
4th Voice: “What are you going to do about it?”
If I have to give my voices a name –
Voice 1 is voice of self-doubt
Voice 2 is the voice of sensibility
Voice 3 is voice of reason
Voice 4 is Baron’s voice (my teacher)
Truth is – I CAN’T SILENCE THE VOICES
So GO AWAY!
“Are you listening with your heart? Quiet down the voices in your head. And listen for what is actually there.
What else is holding me back?
Is it because I’m not disciplined enough? And I’m lazy?
That did cross my mind. You know, the lie of I’m a bad girl, and I’m not good enough yada yada yada.
This “Discipline issue” came up a year ago when I was struggling with sleeping late and thus not waking up early enough to meditate or yoga. And I discovered that doing things consistently is a choice or a rule we made up. And so if it’s a rule, I can break it easily and not feel guilty. And so to stop the guilty, I gave myself permission to break my own rules.
So right now the issue right now – is that I don’t feel guilty for not exercising nor waking up early to meditate.
– Which is awesome, coz it means I’ve grown AND on the other hand, in yoga, we talk about “sukha stira asanam” – finding balanced action of effort and ease and it applies to life!
And I’m not very balanced right now since I have all these voices and complaints hogging my headspace.
Baron says: “When we lack discipline or self control or act compulsive – we say how can I be so weak? Why don’t I have any willpower? The truth is it takes a lot of power to systematically sabotage every day of your life. Feeling controlled by our problems, behaviours or addictions is not an issue of powerlessness. The issue is that we are turning our power against ourselves.
So if there’s LESS guilt today, all I need is more responsibility in action.
I need to take my power back.
WHAT YOU KNOW IS ENOUGH
Start with what you have because it’s enough.
AND…… right now, I know what I need to do and I know what works for me – I need to declare a new commitment, and declaring is not enough.
I need to share it with you.
What I commit to do right now is to:
• AND Practice yoga everyday for 12 Days
I’ve already started last Friday.
Waking up to do 20 mins yoga is not that hard. I dropped JIP and moved according to how my body feels.
I’ve scheduled 2 dance classes, 1 gym day, 1 yoga class and 2 brisk walks.
I’m taking back my power and I know it’s always going to be a constant tug of war. And it’s Okay.
I got it!
We never arrived, healed. It’s less about what happens in the end, and more about how we want to show up and who want to be in every moment.Sophie Sanders
Sure I won’t get a 6 pack by the time, I get on that plane, but any kind of movement is healing and I feel so much better about myself already.