“I’ve had it, I quit.”
“I am so over this.”
“It’s too hard.”
“It’s not worth it.”
“It was never worth my time.”
Are you? Really?
At some point in time, we have all been there – the moment we hit those crossroads between giving up and pushing forward. In fact, quitting seems to be such common place these days I sometimes wonder if it’s in the water we drink. My intention with this article is to focus on why we do – what we do, when we’re confronted and hopefully you will walk away better informed as to what decision to make the next time you feel like giving up. The three main areas of focus will be:
I love this quote:
“There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you had enough.”
Think about that for a moment. Would you know the difference? Is there one?
It’s not as simple as it sounds. We have a penchant for making our lives more complicated and cluttered regardless of intent and this typically shows up in line with the decisions we make (or don’t make). Having enough of something and walking away is fine as long as you can own that decision and feel you gave it 100%. Choosing to leave something less than complete simply because you aren’t worth putting in the time, effort or commitment is an entirely different story.
Let’s take a closer look at my findings and better understand why this happens and what you can do so the next time you’re at a crossroads, so you can confidently choose your next course of action.
Why You Give Up
According to the research of psychologists, neurologists, and other experts, setting a goal invests ourselves into the target as if we’d already accomplished it. That is, by setting something as a goal, however small or large, however near or far in the future, a part of our brain believes that desired outcome is an essential part of who we are – setting up the conditions that drive us to work towards the goals to fulfill the brain’s self-image. The problem is that our brain cannot distinguish between things we want and things we have. Neurologically, then, our brains treat the failure to achieve our goal the same way as it treats the loss of a valued possession. And up until the moment the goal is achieved, we have failed to achieve it, setting up a constant tension that the brain seeks to resolve. Ideally, this tension is resolved by driving us towards accomplishment. However, in many cases “ego depletion” kicks in which severely limits our self control and willpower to move forward.
Some other and more common reasons:
What To Watch Out For
Common signs you may have already thrown in the towel:
What To Do
Here are 5 reminders to consider before giving up:
Final thoughts: Remember this, the moment you are ready to quit is usually the moment before the miracle happens. Start experiencing your life filled with more “oh wells” versus “what ifs?” and notice the difference. You will always have more in your tank than you believe, know or think – the key is to understand if you are giving up or you’ve honestly given it 110% and have had enough.
The floor is yours: How do you overcome the fear of giving up?
Please leave your comment below as your insights are greatly appreciated and a learning opportunity for everyone reading this article.