“Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
One of the most essential conditions for people is to feel free and happy and to enjoy life – to be in harmony with one’s self and the world.
Most people realize the need to cope with their internal conflicts and struggles, to free themselves from negative feelings, to be faithful to themselves, and to live according to their principles – to be at peace with themselves.
Achieving harmony with the world, however, often seems difficult and even unattainable, especially when the circumstances and the people around them are not what they want them to be.
It seems as if there is some contradiction in being true to one’s self and at the same time being in harmony with the world this individual doesn’t like. So, in this case, people’s views, imaginations, and dreams are different from the reality around them.
Is it possible to live in agreement with your own self, since your desires and aspirations are in conflict with reality? Does it mean that you have to give up on them to be in peace of mind? Or do you have to wait for circumstances to change, to get to the place where you have always dreamed of being and everyone around you friendly and loving to be in harmony with the world around you?
If you set such conditions, you will become too dependent on the outside, and you will never be satisfied.
You can only be in harmony here and now, not once when things have become “better.” And you do not have to give up your desires and dreams; you do not have to deny the desire to change your lives.
What is the way then?
Achieving harmony with yourself and peace with the world are inextricably linked and cannot be separated from one another. There is no way you can be in a spiritual balance if you present yourself against the life you live in. If you hate the people around you, if you cannot forgive those who have hurt you and have caused you pain and anger you will not be able to have a harmonious relationship with others if there are unresolved conflicts and struggles inside you and you are not aware of your own self.
If you want to live in harmony with yourself, that means you have to be in harmony with the world around you.
Spiritual peace is achieved when one finds a balance between the external and the inner world.
What do you need to do to live in harmony and enjoy life?
I have found that resistance to what IS, mostly pollutes one’s inner space and disturbs the mental equilibrium. Resistance creates a constant tension and an internal struggle that tortures individuals and acts as a slow acting poison.
Think about it – are you suffering that your life isn’t going the way you want it to go, do people around your cause you to be irritated, do you hate your work or the place where you live? What is the reason for all of this?
You feel that circumstance and the people around you cause you not to feel well, but actually the real reason is your reaction to them.
Because your inner space is the primary reality, and the external is secondary.
Imagine, for example, that the colleagues in your work are irritating you, they are behaving badly, they don’t appreciate you and are constantly manipulation everyone. Every day, however, you show up to this hateful place, you do nothing different, you curse your fate and inculcate yourself.
Think for a moment. What do you achieve this way? Your resentment does not change your colleagues’ attitude towards you, does not teach them a lesson, nor does it make you feel better.
With this anger, you only punish yourself, cause a conflict between the external and the internal.
You might say you have no choice. On the contrary, you have. You always have a choice.
I’m not saying you have to suppress your anger. No way. It is normal that you do not like such an attitude and that it provokes indignation in you. But then do something about it – make some decisions to make a change.
The way to deal with the situation, which provokes resistance and negative feelings, is very simple. Eckhart Tolle gives the simple answer:
“Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find you’re here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally. If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of those three options, and you must choose now. Then accept the consequences. No excuses. No negativity. No psychics pollution. Keep your inner space clear.”
If you cannot leave the situation or change it, then accept it. Realize how pointless it is to be angry at what already exists. Taking the situation does not mean that you will not try to change it in time, but at that moment it is as it is. What’s more stupid than hurting yourself, becoming angry and wasting all of your energy in a fight against something that is a fact to turn the enemy into the present?
As Eckhart Tolle says – you have to do something or accept the situation completely and unreservedly. Everything else is madness.
It is amazing how when a person fully accepts the situation, he suddenly feels a lightness, a sense of liberation and inner peace. There is no more anger, accusation, self-pity, no struggle. And you are free.
Namely, when we act from this state of spiritual peace and freedom, the world seems to be more friendly and welcoming.
Eckhart Tolle says:
“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. This will miraculously transform your whole life.”
A story about a teacher discusses how the teacher decided to put an interesting task to her students.
The teacher told the children to think and remember the names of people they cannot forgive or whom they hate. Then for each student to take a potato and carve the individual’s name in the bark. Students had to collect the potatoes in a bag and carry them everywhere with them for a week.
The next day some children brought bags of 2-3 potatoes, and others’ bags were full. As the task asked, students, did their usual activities by dragging the potato bags around with them, every day.
The longer they carried them, the heavier they seemed to be. Soon, the potatoes began to spoil and to smell. But children had to continue carrying them around with the smelly load, when they went out with friends, and when they were eating, watching TV and resting.
The lesson to learn from this unusual task is when one refuses to forgive, this individual carries a heavy burden within his or her own self. This burden becomes heavier over time. The stench of hatred and negative feelings in this individual grows, conquering the whole body and mind, choking this individual and poising him or her.
Run away from the heavy loads of hater. Remove feelings that are torturing you. Remember that forgiveness is for your own sake. By forgiving the people who have hurt you in some way, you are relieved of heavy burdens and cease to perceive and act as a sacrifice.
Otherwise, you will always be captured by these individuals. Forgiveness will make you feel free and independent.
To forgive does not mean that on the outside you shouldn’t take any action. Of course, everyone has to take responsibility for his or her own actions.
I am talking about an internal purity that frees you from the painful, self-destructive feelings.
3. Feeling guilty.
Having a sense of guilt is a very corrosive feeling. From it, one can become sick. It is not by chance that people confess and, having received forgiveness, are released.
If you have done something that makes you feel guilty and you cannot find inner peace – do something about it – go to the person who hurt you, speak to them.
If you are doing something that makes you feel guilty and you are tortured by these actions, stop doing them.
In most cases, to free yourself of guilt, you must forgive yourself. Everybody makes mistakes; no one is perfect. But mistakes are our best teachers. Remember that you have done the best you could at this point. Forgive yourself and move forward.
4. The dichotomy.
The inner divide disturbs harmony and creates stress in life. These are the cases when you are hesitant about what decision to take when you’ve postponed solving a problem when you break yourself to please everyone, when you have to lie about something,
In order to be calm and free, one must have a clear position and act immediately.
Don’t delay to solve problems. Become involved with them right away. Remember that there are no right and wrong decisions, the only wrong decision is when you do not make a decision, but you postpone.
Being in harmony with yourself and the world means that you become free.
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About The Author
Dr. Mila is an internationally known Change Catalyst. She teaches individuals and organizations about awareness, connection, and the need for change – personally, socially, and professionally.