Want to be a happy mom?

Take a break

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I take a shower every day, do I need it? Heck Yeah!

Smelling fresh and having clean hair is supposed to be a good thing.. but for me, it’s more than that.

It’s part of my self-care ritual.

Showers serve a purpose so much more than just cleaning myself and feeling fresh. It’s my way of taking a break physically as well as mentally because ones I get in that shower I reflect and wash away those tough parts of the day that I sometimes let hold me back from enjoying the ‘rest of my day or evening’. Sometimes it’s a shower after a rough start in the morning and other times it’s after a long hard day.

I know as I step into the shower to just let it go, no more replaying it in my mind and carrying around negative vibes/energy because stepping out of the shower signifies a fresh start.

Now don’t get me wrong I know letting go of the small things can be easy, a broken glass, paints on the walls or spills on the floors but remember that whatever you struggle to let go off you should give yourself the permission to take a break from mentally.

I regularly take breaks from:
  • The guilt of not being the “perfect” mom, I have yet to meet the perfect mom. My mom was not perfect, my sisters are not perfect mothers and I was not a perfect person so there was never really a chance I was going to be the perfect mother. But you know what.. I think we are doing OK, the kids are happy and healthy.
  • Not being enough, it’s my childhood story that I retell myself all the time. I may have believed that I was not enough at some point in my life but now I need to focus on being happy as I am and learn to grow and work towards becoming the person I want to be.
  • Not doing enough, we don’t have a full of activity schedule. The kids don’t go to gym classes, swim classes or ballet and I am OK with that. On this note, I will also give myself a break from not going outside for 2 hours a day. Sometimes we go outside for 30 minutes other times we don’t even make it further than the balcony and guess what, it’s OK.
  • Not having the perfect ‘Instagram and Pinterest’ worthy house, kids LIVE here. Messy, loud kids who run around the place and throw stuff around live here so and I am content with it. I sometimes have to stop myself and actually be grateful for this because it’s a true blessing to have them here and have them fill the house with laughter and joy.
  • Not being the best at disciplining, sometimes I yell sometimes I give them a timeout, sometimes I give them a time out while I yell and most of the time I FEEL drained. Kids will miss behave and disciplining is hard. Being patient is what I need more of all around.
  • Worry over the future, it causes me anxiety and stress. I worry about the society, humanity and the kind of environment my kids are growing up in. There are a million things I want for them but most importantly I want them to be able to navigate life and make the right decisions. However causing myself to physically and mentally be drained from these thoughts should be something I not only take a break from but also learn to LET go.
  • The latest entry on the list of things I am taking a break from is counting how much and/or how little my husband does. He helps around the house but it’s never enough and it drives me crazy. The thing is I should learn that it is enough if he takes the kids out for couple hours. It’s enough, if he cleans the shower/bath walls. It’s enough. He is enough and that’s how I need to accept him.

How to give yourself a break:

How you give yourself a break (physically) when you need it is up to you, for me, it’s stepping into the shower and reflecting but for you it can be

  • Allowing yourself extra sleep
  • Getting a message
  • Relaxing in a sauna or steam room
  • Take a long hot bath
  • Go for a walk
  • Do some cloud watching

With the new year around the corner I invite you to consider and evaluate what is keeping you from being a happy mother and learn to either let go of the guilt, the perfection, what “it’s supposed to be” and the what if’s or at the very least learn to take a break from them (mentally and physically)

This article was published on The Muslimah Guide

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